Pleasure and Sexual Chemistry

Segments of the pharmaceutical industry have currently been dedicating to research substances capable of interfering with libido and sex drive aimed to benefit those with dysfunctional desire as well as sustaining male erectile potency.
In 1998, after several researches Viagra was launched out in the market, which revolutionized the treatment of erectile disturbances. Interestingly, the chemical compound Sildenafil was being tested as antihypertensive drug during phases of researches without plausible results. It was then observed a rather interesting collateral effect on a large number of men using it. It was reported that during treatment men showed sustainable erection as consequence of the medication, of which, since then has begun to be researched as oral medication capable of promoting adequate erection in men with erectile dysfunction.
Pharmacopoeia have ever since been developed on that ground, for drugs up to which point were injectables (Papaverine and Prostaglandin), all of which were being administrated directly on the penis' cavernous body and thus promoting instantaneous erection with undesirable side effects such as priaprism (painful lasting erection).
Shortly after Viagra came along others such as Levitra (Valdenafil) and Cialis (Tadalafila), both displaying similar characteristics. As opposed to injectables that produce almost instantaneous erection without sexual desire, oral drugs compulsorily require sexual arousal to come into effect.
Another important effect observed in such medications is decreased refracting period, that is, the period between the organism's resolution up to the threshold of a new sexual incursion.
Recent researches have sought answers in our hormonal make over. It's known that testosterone is one of the most potent androgenic as far as sexual desire in men and women concerns, and a drop in its level leads to progressively lack of sexual desire. All that would explain further the decrease in libido after the fifth or sixth decade of life for both genders. There isn't a consensus among specialists over which dose would be ideal for testosterone replacement in women, much less on long term collateral effects.
It's known that hair growth, high levels of cholesterol and the likelihood of certain types of cancer might be associated to testosterone usage in women.
Another researched drug with encouraging results mainly in regards to the increase of libido in women is Chlorinate of Bupropione an antidepressant that acts by blocking the re-uptake of norepinephrine and thus increasing concentrations of noradrenaline and dopamine, being responsible for the feel good factor and sexual gratification.
Studies indicate an increase in desire and sexual arousal in women with desire deficiency and healthy love relationships after using Bupropione.
In brief, a new experimental drug named PT-141, a.k.a. lust spray, that promises to revolutionize dysfunctional libido. In contrast to the other drugs available that act peripherally, PT-141 acts on a central level, in a region of the hypothalamus, from which responses of sexual stimuli originate.
If those researches confirm its safety and efficacy, soon there might be available such a substance capable of sexually arousing any one almost immediately with a single nasal spray.
Meanwhile, since such a wonder isn't up for grabs as yet, let's make up for it with the pharmacopoeia currently used, bearing in mind that only health professionals can safely guide on and adequately prescribe medications within safety limits.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Connection

Sexual activity divided in three phases, namely, sex linked desire, sexual arousal and orgasm. But chosen to be approached in this article is sex-linked desire. What sex-linked desire is all about, how it takes place, whose factors infer, and all that pertaining to sexual hankers spilled in here.
Sexual desire is bound to be compared to the sensation of appetite, that extra something that propel us towards sexual congress, or even render us more receptive towards such encounter.
Knowingly, within sexual desire, lies a large context of lived up experiences of life included, essential factors, whose order are biological, psychological and social factors of each human being, always acting in continuous interaction.
Sexual desire is a phenomenon exclusively subjective, which encompasses contribution of several aspects, like, sexual fantasies, erotic dreams, acquaintance to sexual activity, and the act of masturbation, erogenous sensations, and partner's receptivity, amongst others.
Having said that, factors diversify with regard to strength and intensity, depending on the moment, emotional and physical, that someone is living in.
Within sexual desire, lies disposition for sexual activity, which inserts three basic attitudes, as follows. Motivation, impulse and sexual activity.
Let's debrief to get on top of it.
Motivation otherwise known as sexual aspiration perceived likewise that gesture, that initiative towards approaching someone, bearing sexual interests and intents. And yet, whoever knows how to accept a pass or sexual proposal of someone. In these cases, the person involved, the situation itself and the circumstances is what propel such motivation. Experiences solely emotional, behavioral, which involve sensations and hankers, whether in bigger or smaller degree, which might or not be taken on board towards the second attitude, the sexual impulse that is.
Sexual impulse felt as sexually inducing experience. This process gears into action stemming from ongoing neural bundle. It is identifiable as turn on, and likewise motivation, strength and intensity vary from person to person.
In both men and women, traits of impulse will manifest, for instance, increasingly genital sensibility as well as sex urges in detriment to a string of aspects that favor sexual motivation.
There is however, negative aspects that might interfere in such impulse, which might as well be the case of holding the partner at low regards, whereupon by countless reasons, such as upset, resentments, deception, may spark off frustrations and even loss of interest and sexual de-motivation.
In women, being motivation and sexual impulse deeply connected to cultural factors, like moral, religion, emotional stability, given the woman's role in modern-day society still.
Sexual arousal, and from this point on the body begins to gear up to the sex act. In this phase, men and women undergo certain bodily alterations, an entirely physiological phase.
In men, arousal provides penile erection, which might come followed by urethral secretion, as well as increase in the heart and breathing rates.
In women, vaginal enlargement and moistening that enhance sexual intercourse. On top of that, there is clitoral intumescency that turns rather touch-sensitive, yielding ultimate sex-linked pleasure when stroked.
Absolutely, desire might entail flaws, so much so, that it can be less intense or absent altogether, nevertheless, that calls for thorough relevance and care, as it might signify that something is hampering the expression of sexuality.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Male Orgasm

Also the Male orgasm would features particularities and curiosities for the female gaze. Thus male orgasm stands for the last stage of a cycle linked to the sexual response. Otherwise known as sexual peak by characteristically releasing built up tensions, which come followed by muscular spasms triggered.
To our better understanding let’s shed light on the stages in which comprise the male sexual response. In accordance to conducted surveys by experts on the human sexuality there are four phases comprising our sexual response…
Arousal is the physiological response triggered by external stimuli on which point interpreted as sexual urge. There are significant alterations in this phase such as vascular clogging (increased ongoing blood) and myotonia (involuntary contraction of muscular fibers).
Roughly speaking the penis gets harden on sprees of desire, as of neurological input some such haemostatic (blood flow constriction). A desire sign gets triggered in the brain which in turn sends off signals throughout the body. All takes place in a somewhat subdue manner, in a blink of an eye, figure of speech.
Leaving all set for sexual intercourse due to our guest star the man’s testosterone level, which sets him a part when it comes to reproducing.
The plateau, this phase might occur prior or post ejaculation, promoting testicular elevation thus clogging up the scrotal sac.
Sexual climax could be divided in two sets first of all there’s contraption of the prostrate followed by the release of seminal fluid (within pause intervals). once geared in action there’s no way to block it up once involuntary muscular contraction would set tension released.
Resolution aka refractory period, in this stage the man looses erection and bound to remain numb to sexual stimuli for time being.
There’s no divergent relation so as to crisscross orgasm with ejaculation. As are processes profoundly intertwined with neither origins nor functions alike. A man derives orgasm from a neurological pleasure doom. What happen is shortly upon striking orgasm as it were, seminal fluid builds up in the prostate gland bulb which sparks off certain sensation of eminent ejaculation. And ultimately so takes place the whole dynamic process from then on. It begins by drawing the testicles close together, in that the discharge of seminal fluid promoted by muscular ripples on sexual desire threshold.
The link between orgasm and ejaculation lies within the fact that a man can reach climax without shooting or even shoot his load inducing pleasure aside from sexual intercourse. Out of curiosity at regards semen is that might sting if getting in contact with the eyes.
Some are bound to produce less fluid by growing old. So those worryingly about it are truly producing it on average.
In order to increase the shooting load all he has to do is lengthen the elapsed time on the initial phases of sexual arousal aka foreplay. Otherwise sexuality as offhanded is not a rule, but specific to each and every one so much as lifestyle and background.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Labido

From all of the female sexual dysfunctions, perhaps the most widespread in the clinical practice being the loss of libido or the accentuated diminishing of the sexual interest.
Such loss may be abrupt or insidious, that is, progressive decrease until the total absence of interest towards sexual relation.
Factors that lead to such loss of sexual interest generally are multicasual, and almost in their totality of psychogenic origin. There are those who since the beginning of sexual life, always feel little if none urges to have relations, but in counterpart, there those who always been quite active, in a sexuality standpoint, who in a given moment watched their libido diminish and even so disappear.
The vast majority of women, who seek aid by this complaint, do so by fear of loosing their partners, whose by demand starts to notice the lack of interest and demand a solution.
Almost always the loss of desire is generalized, in other words, there is no desire by any object in special, although in few cases the loss of desire being selective, as for example absence of desire for the partner, though desire towards other men.
An interesting fact is that almost totality of them women referred loving their partners and can’t come to terms with such loss of libido.
As it so happens, the lack of desire interferes in the whole remnant of sexual response, since the arousal phase gets compromised more often than not rendering orgasm implausible.
Many remark that as far as they concern sex is no longer necessary and that they only do so in order to please their partners.
That renders them extremely unhappy, for they would delight to take the most out of the relation and by so-pretending interest feel minimized and somewhat prostituted and exploited.
The pharmaceutical industry has conducted surveys on medication capable of triggering sexual desire at cerebral level.
Nevertheless, currently the Sexual Therapy is still the only treatment capable of restituting, if not in its totality at least partially, the lost libido, so as to get back to a normal wholesome sexual life and so- prevent conjugal crisis that may more often than not lead to separation.
It is in therapy that the patient and therapist would seek out the causes to treat them and modify therefore the endeavor. The state of affairs likewise the routine of relation and settlement of the couple nearly always make presence in the geneses of dysfunction of desire hypoactive.
Adjustments in demeanors as well as drills of accuracy and attempts to halt the automatism of the mechanism of relation being present most often as a manner of treatment.
Anyhow it is always sensible to remind that sex plays a significant role in our lives, as somewhat instinctive and its deficiency usually brings about repercussions in conjugal life and interpersonal in all the sectors of our relations.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Bondage 101

Bondage is a sadomasochist practice that consists in restraining a sex partner in order to caress and induce sexual relation. For such immobilization are employed ropes, cuffs and socks, depending on what sex partners are up to. In bondage, the idea is to have a role sexually dominant and a submissive one.
In bondage, both partners derive pleasure, which is related to the sensation of being subdued by or dominate another person. By the rule of thumb, there's agreement set by the couple for neither of them to get any kind of injuries during sex even so there's gestures and jargon to tell the dominant role that is time to call it off.
There's who practices bondage with a fixed partner-spouse, girlfriend, as there's who practices it with non-fixed partner. No data is available to tell which one is practiced most, but it's known that sites are there for this sexual intent as well as chat rooms for the same reason and functioning rooms where adepts can have sex with ropes, slings and attire available purposely.
Before considering bondage as perversion, we should think that each one knows what likes and dislikes in bed and in principle there's no harm as such in the practice of bondage. There could be said that bondage is a way of spicing up a sexual relation likewise the multitude of sex positions of Kama Sutra or the likes.
What shouldn't be forgotten is that exist sadism and masochism, and the bondage practice might be underlying some sexual disorder more serious. There should be a fine line drawn between sexual practice and sexual disorder.
Sex means caress exchange between two people in which the main goal is to obtain sexual pleasure. The means employed are many, but if those means produce any psychic or physical distress for either of them, we should think of disorder.
And suffering can be regarded as failure in pleasure inducement in sex other than subjecting or being subjected or even spending a significant amount of time conceiving ways of carrying on bondage.
It's likely to be thought that whoever practices bondage lies low. It's known that prejudice exists, but also it's known that there's for some people curiosity.
If there's curiosity in bondage practices, and if there's someone keen on it, the natural approach is the fulfillment of desire. There might take a little longer, lacking of courage one might end up feeling self-conscious for bondage practices, but it's down to each one of us to know that, much as in any given sexual practice.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Energize Your Sex

It’s said that any society curbing sexual expression of its own kind, would channel up such sexual energy into other escape routes, which might wind up by benefiting the society, economically.
Arguably whenever society gets to establish patterns on sexual behaviour does render sex even more pleasurable, as a result of the overcome opposition. Could it all be suitable?
None of the above would suffice. Otherwise, there would underpin improper and neurotic by the sexual motto of society.
There’s no evidence as such to showcase that a plentiful sexual life could’ve watered down a society. Better yet, there’s none whatsoever that members of societies more ascertain whether sexually or technologically, would derive less pleasure from sexual intercourse.
All the way around, hints would tell us exactly otherwise, given that those members from those more sexually carefree societies, taken lesser sexual burden on board.
Notwithstanding, people deserve being made aware of hardcore and flirting behavioral, as well as any “peculiar” sexuality. Extreme stress upon sexual issues- whether done by heighten or inculcation - should be discontinued and replaced by more leveled reasoning concerned sex.
In spite of this point resembled highly debatable, in the ideal world, its goal should be of educating children towards adulthood, of loving and making love by the natural ways, free from strings attached, shame or hiccups.
Sexual experiences within teenage must have acceptance, although those engaging in experience sprees still eligible to insight on the likelihood of odds and ends. Meaning, approaches as such present the way forward in self-acknowledgement not just so sex, but also towards the opposite sex and how to relate with them.
Masturbation then would be viewed as normal procedure, so much for the point of being encouraged perhaps, because blunt bashing, apart from sparking problems of psychological order, may lead into sexual rapport before maturity as a sort of fending oneself from the “sin” and/or “naughtiness” of masturbation.
The parenthood role into the childhood and teenage sexuality, rather kept at bay, and so too the parents act should be voided of sexual connotations.
Unisexual stances by the society must be curbed in order to prevent the average from becoming secluded down to some infantile level of sexually - that usually happens whenever clampdown rubs off on sexual, erotica and pornography plethora, as allegedly under the fabric of vulgarity.
Much as in antiquity, the human body so genitalia should come out fairly exposed and viewed as usual and casual as ever.
Both men and women would become bore of bliss and delight for one another. Anything other than that would be hostile to the male and female altogether.
Any given deadlock on to sexual matters could jeopardize the society itself, given its wellbeing core on healthy sexual procedures.
Moreover, those societies which thrive on sexual bashing might as well undermine chasms of loving and making love by ilk, conversely, bound to become more prone to grief.

Kisses,

Jesse~

His G-Spot

Even if some researchers refused the concept of a male G-spot, the term begins to be accepted and renders its understanding easier. Exactly how this particular area of the male body functions, would give an idea of “equality” to both the male and the female sexuality. However located and performing differently than women’s. In fact, what’s known as the male G-spot is actually the prostate gland.
The prostate gland’s functions produce one of the fluids that constitute sperm, being responsible for the muscular contractions, which release semen and induce orgasm. It’s located behind the lower part of the pubic arch and in front of the rectum. It has a walnut shape like, measuring about the size of a condom.
By stimulating the prostate men may experience an extremely intense orgasm, just as well it happens to women when stimulated on their G-spot. If both achieve the same results, the path to reach those places won’t be different. You can feel the prostate about three inches inside the anus, as a firm and smooth area highly touch sensitive.
Before going further (in the explanation, don’t panic), let’s spill the beans- enjoying anal stimulation has nothing to do with homosexuality or anal sex. What was recently regarded as taboo is acknowledged today by many hard-line heterosexual men who indulge their sexuality. If you tried so hard to find your partner’s G-spot, why wouldn’t you spend time looking for such a similar spot that can induce to the very same sensations? Communication is essential. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, bring up the subject after giving her a wonderful time. Since there’s no more queries on the subject, let’s get back to the razz-mat-ass.
For internal stimulation there are two operative words to bear in mind: lubrication and gentleness. Start as ever, by acknowledging your own body. Suit yourself as the anus is a very delicate area, so lubrication is required. To wear condoms along with oil-based lubricants renders it safer. Start by slowly and ever so carefully probing (previously lubricated) your anus. The more you feel it the easier to prevent pain or tissue cuts. once you are in, allow your fingers to go about 3-4”up where the prostate is located. Now gently crook you finger towards the abdomen, as a “come hither” movement. As you find the right mode go forward talking (no pun intended) your partner into the game. That’s the moment where communication becomes crucial. Explain exactly how you’d like her to do it and whether you’re feeling safe.
- Some men can reach orgasm by prostate stimulation solely, whereas others enjoy it along with other practices, find the combination that suits you best, for instance oral Sex.
- In contrast, you might simply dislike this kind of stimulation altogether. It won't work for everyone and as everything sexually orientated, it’s a question of trial and error. By the same token not every woman would enjoy stimulating her partner. once more the key being communication.
And yet, by pressing the area between your scrotum and your anus you’ll be indirectly massaging your prostate leading to different sensations.
Remember that such stimulation calls for complicity to enhance your sexuality and relationship. It doesn’t have anything to do with sexual orientation, since you won’t put your manhood at harms way by enjoying it. As a matter of fact you’ll be experimenting sensations that other guys are missing, blindly.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Pleasure Zones

The erogenous zones consist of all body parts that provide more sexual sensibility. These areas of great sensitivity compound the genital organs (vulva-penis) as much as the other body parts that can also feel different sensations when stimulated by kisses or caresses. Among the outstanding erogenous zones are those which possess nervous linking, however not all erogenous areas possess such terminations. It is right to affirm that the erogenous zones are very specific areas of each person. What might be an excitable area for someone may not cause sensation at all in another person. For this reason some people get excited when kissed and/or caressed in the ear, neck, etc. whereas other people feel absolutely nothing in these regions. But, how could we identify such sensitive areas from those, which we call erogenous zones?
It is important to remember that for such s long time, the erogenous zones were meant exclusively to discover which parts of the human body had the biggest number of nervous terminations, and this characteristic being considered as the only source that could give a person conditions for pleasure sensations. People believed that identifying in a person these body parts with great sensitivity would be enough, and that everything else would be similar to others... However, to unveilthe pleasure path, people would have to think about some important aspects, for example, the differences from the female body to the male counterpart, in other words, men should understand that their bodies don't serve as role model for the understanding of the feminine pleasure, just as well as the female body and their form of pleasure attainment are different from the masculine.
Each person would feel the same touch in a different way, thus aside the differences of gender; there are individual differences. And yet, in order to recognize the erogenous zones, a couple ought to have a higher degree of privacy to get more time together, for it's necessary that both partners try each other's own sensations and obtain success in making the other master how to stimulate such spotted leasure points. There's unnecessary to have genital contact to explore other erogenous areas, but sexual contact, and thence exactly the importance of privacy and interacting of the couple. The existence of our five senses also makes a difference in the pleasure hour. The senses of smell, palate, hearing, vision and touch could and should be developed, therefore this set of sensations happens to contribute, offering more quality in privacy. Since the pleasure sensations aren't only proportioned by the use of touch on more sensitive regions of the body. Everything requires time adjustment, privacy, place and ambience, so that the couple gets a chance to identify and develop through the five senses all those areas that provide pleasure, knowing always, that sensations of pleasure and erogenous zones simply do not exist because we have parts of body more sensitive to touch, it is necessary to expose, explore and even train all our sensorial possibilities.
When mentioning above, the word train, I meant to say that couples that already possess a good degree of interaction and privacy, can propitiate one another, a sort of "sexualized game", where each partner will learn through one's five senses how to improve the search for pleasure, knowing what he/she wants to feel with each touch, each kiss, each caress, as well as offering the partner, the same pleasure search.
Each touch is felt in a very particular way and also depends on the history of how these touches occurred and will be repeated in each one's life. This is what becomes significant inside a context of privacy and pleasure, consequently this is the way that the erogenous zones appear and that makes sense for a couple.
We will see now, some areas frequently regarded as erotic points, and also the best manner to stimulate excitement of these points:
Breasts: light caresses or in more energetic way (nipples suckling), can give pleasure in such a way to woman, as man. Some people can reach orgasm when stimulated in this region. The masculine nipples when well stimulated also generate great sensations.
Gluteus: to caress and/or kiss this region is highly exciting, as much for men as for women. Women get easily excited in this region, whereas men feel more excited stimulating this woman's body part.
Neck: caresses on this entire region can be highly exciting. The nape of the neck is one of most stimulating parts, since it is regarded as a relaxation spot of the body and when caressed correctly may provoke excellent sensations. You should abuse giving kisses on this place, mainly if your partner does feel excited.
Ears: behind the ear, in special, runs a ligament called "hot line", that's why it could be highly stimulated. The ears are more sensitive in women than in men. Being an easily accessible region, it is highly stimulated at the beginning of the relationship, most frequently, it is forgotten when a couple has more privacy, which should be different, since it's an excellent caress point during intercourse.
Navel: it allows for a series of sexual sensations and becomes highly excited when caressed, even so for being an area located close to the genitals.
Armpits: in some cultures, it may become an erogenous zone, mainly unshaved
Thighs: quite sensitive region. The internal part, since close to the genitals, become even more sensitive. It should be well explored before coming to genitals.
Feet: for many people are highly exciting. Equally being an area of fetish for some men, it can be well explored.
The most important out of everything that should be made clear, it's that each person gets to know exactly what they want out of their relationships, and can enjoy it in a safe and pleasant way with happiness for both parts.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Anal Pleasure

Anal sex, a penis entering either a female or a male anus. This penetrative sex as another mode of pleasure wield during sexual intercourse.
Nerve bundles equally to other sexual stimuli sensitive body parts serve the anus. It’s known that anal sex takes a lot of flak from sexual taboos of modern society. Some misinformed people hold anal sex as dirty and gruesome. A line of perception that too has deteriorated since the advent of the AIDS pandemic.
A sexual pleasure yielded believed to stem even from taboo mongering, whereupon the act of doing something whether wrong or naughty according to society’ is perhaps utterly exciting. As for men, given that the anus is poorly lubricated and somewhat tight, renders the idea even more exciting.
The various positions that a female figure should be at for more comfort in penetrative sex is such highly exciting factor for men as well, who reportedly feel more powerful, dominant, in sexual affairs.
However, anal sex isn’t every one’s cup of tea. People should know best what gives them sexual pleasure. There are those who would enjoy licking and touching but won’t tolerate the idea of penetrative sex.
For the sake of information, the anus is extremely stretchable and bound to endure even a fatty-penis. So much for fist fucking, a highly skilful technique supposedly gives off great pleasure. Not for the fainthearted tough, for apprentice starts with one finger and builds up from there. As known, the rectum is the final part of the digestive tract and so highly contagious, mostly bacteria. Contact with other body parts may cause serious infections. Anal sex is STD’s main door such as AIDS and Hepatitis B, thus the need for safer sex. The first anal sex experience may be followed by pain or discomfort, as much as inexperience, tension and insecurity are influencing factors. However, as time goes by, if someone enjoys anal sex will turn more relaxed as pain tends to recede turning into sexual pleasure.
Muscles relax from easygoing mind-approach, that is to say, anal sex pleasure takes self-control. Feeling at ease helps self-acknowledgement. When having shower try and shovel a finger up ever so slowly while releasing muscle tension. Keep nails short and always lubricated before inserting in anything. When a finger starts to feel kind of all right go for twos and then threes, constantly probing before moving onto serious poking. And with practice, anyone can afford a whole hand in and then some.
Sex partners should take advantage of foreplay added by loads of lubes or play the old 69 giving the anus a good lather of saliva prior penetration.
Some sexual positions enable anal sex farther, made possible by popular demand are:
She on top- ideal for the newcomer as she gets to set pace and depth of penetration.
From rear- the old in out as she kneels down exposing her hidden secrets, now there’s a catch, for each time a penis goes inside the vagina the condom has to be changed before it goes in the anus due to the threat of cross-infection. Sign of the times.
Face to face- she on her back bring knees up to chest height placing feet on his shoulders. Easy penetrative angle of sex, unsuitable for beginners.
Back view- she places a pillow mound underneath her tummy while he lies on top opening her cheeks with hands. Degree of difficulty-quite hard.
But it all comes down to personal experience, Find out yours and spread around.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sex Relationships

It’s sexuality galore on this totally sex-charged piece. Another chapter on sexuality considerations and a contemplation of sex as means of bonding sexual relations.
Experience that enchants and hassles invigorates the soul and renders it vulnerable, already described as "a mild-like fever, highly interesting to be acquired" - love. More specifically, the romantic love. A persistent theme of the occidental poetry ever so often dealt in romances, plays of theater and cinema alike. It's yet to be known if the different cultures and societies of humankind tackle the same way such fever- the so-called love.
According to certain theories, love is a two-blade knife. May encompasses an enormous creatively power, inspiring of great pieces of literature, music and paintings. For the sake of love, one fights for reaching success, fame and fortune. on the other hand, there might be destructive, "without your love I have no reason to live", it's said in the poignant farewell messages. Daily, a substantial number of unfulfilled lovers, the world over, gets carried away to commit suicide.
"I found the truly love, am gone". An out of the blue morning, she drops the kids at school and literally disappears. Otherwise, he does a runner to live beside his new beloved one, not hesitating in abandoning his family, offloading on the woman's shoulders all the responsibility burden of providing for the kids alone. And not only in the harmony of marriages have those impulses of passion interfered. Crowns and kingdoms being despised, positions and careers abandoned over night.
Moreover, it's not surprisingly that in certain societies, likewise the traditionalist Japan and India for instance, love's cloud ninth considered an anti-social attitude. When falling in love, a girl or guy might be putting at risk interests and social values in detriment of personal delights. If in this case only love leads to marriage, the union might be inadequate. Which might result in a set back not only for the couple, but too, for the social group they live.
In other societies, the love of romantic kind is short lived and set up before hand, being considered something totally out of the idea of marriage. It's an emotional phase typical of adolescence, as short-lived. The grown ups are tolerant towards love adventures of the youth and the likes. This varies from region to region on Earth. In some places of East Africa, groups of youngsters live together, for a certain period, having all that liberty to interact sexually with their boyfriends and girlfriends.
In Western Samoa, Polynesian island, kids get their first sexual experience with older women, well seasoned, who teach them all the intricacies of lovemaking. It's expected that they pass on their knowledge afterwards, whether as emotionally or as sexually, for young girls about to reach puberty. Marriage has literally anything to do with such apprentice crash course. Marriage is a kind of sidekick-transaction: the boys' family gets to choose the bride, contact between head of families is set up and dowry payments are due as usual.
In the westernized societies, love is institutionalized. Since early stage, youth seem eager for living this experience. In great many people, this search persists throughout life. Jumping from one love affair to another, in search of the perfect woman or man, who would provide them with the ideal of happiness. As it were, a kind of "State of eternal glory".
It's the ultimate case of Don Juan, who jumps from bed to bed, epitomized in an everlasting search for new emotions. This kind of man, being constantly seeking out happiness, reveals inside a sad man, lonely and unfulfilled. Characteristics often seen nowadays in those who live in search of the elusive loved-ones

Kisses,

Jesse~

The Sexual Fantasies of Men

The male sexual fantasies are often deemed as nonsense by the women, and hardly ever they’d get on with it. Sex with two women at the same time or a quickie anywhere they pleased, sex in the elevator, spanking (give a couple of slaps on her bum while at it) yet call her a slut. All of which might impart some bizarre connotation, isn’t it? Not as far as they can see, threading on likewise sexual fantasies might be more widespread than some might think. To thread fantasies is quite healthy, as long as bounded up into the imaginary, mostly when the other is not willing to share them. Respect means essential then once it takes two to tango. Mind you, didn’t you know that the male imaginary isn’t so rich after all? That’s right the women tended to fantasize much more. In childhood, the girls are brainwashed into fantasy threading whereas the boys are inculcated to become practical and objective. The difference between sexual leniencies of both the females and males lie in the fact that the male ones are, if you will, more bold and prone to mischievous settings and less socially acceptable. Counterclockwise, the female sexual fantasy is riddle with affective and erotic fabrics, most of the time lingering to sex and loving. And this aspect turns bringing and dishing their fantasies out to the partner a lot easier for them. Let’s highlight a few male orientated sexual fantasies, which seem always on their minds. -Having sex in the elevator, public places. The danger brings along certain arousal and likely situations lead us to believe that the men who do not appreciate that are those in good terms with themselves, who are out for one off only. But sometimes it does not work that way. Those men who need this kind of fantasy, by and large are not so self-assured a one might think, since those who feel secure of themselves and well-sorted out sexually speaking can get beside themselves by the slightest hint of affection. -Making love to two women altogether, it’s the fantasy that drives men literally crazy. Choose which one, better still, opting between the girlfriend and the hottie from work, figure of speech. No wonders this one is such fantasy that mulls over the imaginary of men, because in their minds, get together two opposite types of woman that attract them is the epitome of their sexual pursuit. As a matter of fact, why two women and what’s with being different? Perhaps unconsciously it might be explainable. It goes without saying that therein a strong lesbus element lies well-within. On average, the male gets all worked up and feels highly aroused if spotting two women kissing each other, reaching out for one another, exchanging strokes. Therefore voyeurism could be hinted in here, once they can help themselves by staring at such trade off intimate caresses between two women. For them, following the whole process through which the woman goes to derive sexual pleasure, from the first shudders, their pleasure stricken faces, listen to their moan and the whole body altering itself with lust, it drives them bananas. -Sex with the pros: A man prizes sex with the pros enormously, mainly when something does not click in his relationship or at work or even in the family, it’s when that urge strikes him to go overboard somehow. This is when they grow interested in raw sex, kinky, with no strings attached. That streak might come out as a way to get it out of his system. In a more spontaneous way though. -SadoMasochism (SM) They might try to deny it but from time to time certain sadomasochist demeanors permeate their minds, and can not be denied so far. The women end up by stumbling upon it sooner or later. When they ask for things like relying on vulgar language, as in calling us bitches, like I’ll eat you out, hold or pull hair roughly also make part of their antics. If all comes latched on flogging, body punishment, scratches, belting and the use of sex-devices, then surely they’d blow their tops off. Who usually gets stricken by this kind of streak as to whether hit or take hit when it comes to sex could have gone through some kind of despicable punishment or humiliation lingered to sprees of sexuality, back in childhood. Thus depends on the person whether it could sip in or not. The pleasure in feeling or inflicting pain too true becomes an unconscious tendency to being punished, since there would be the way he could draw some attention towards himself back in the day, which any child yearns for. Upon the upbringing and how the relatives deal with the sexual-affective matters is what dictates the personality traits of someone. As to how one would come to terms with self-fantasies, sexuality and the outlook towards intimacy with others.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Male GSpot and Anal Sex

Everybody heard of the male g-spot, embedded in the prostrate, which lies beneath the bladder and behind the testicles. When a man is in the right mood for sex, a muscle called puboccigeos (a muscle linked to the pubis thus encapsulating organs such as bladder and rectum, supporting them) aka “the love muscle”, goes up against the prostrate. Such pressure onto the prostrate is what the sensation responsible for sexual indulgence would feel like. So far so good, once the male g-spot could be stricken by simply approaching that bit which lies within the testicles and the anus, upon which sexual indulgence would be ensured anyhow. Yet for even higher pleasure for him, the ideal would be to reach out for it from within, in that, inserting a finger or more in his anus. Fare enough that most gay men enjoy the feeling from being penetrated. The other’s penis nudges onto the g-spot itself, rendering sex utterly satisfactory. One doesn’t have to be homosexual in order to allow his missus getting around his ass. A major issue and even prejudice, which detour many men from giving it a go comes latched precisely on that, to the fact that only gay men would derive pleasure out of anal sex. Conversely, anal sex is meant to be good for straight men as well. And it too doesn’t mean to be homosexual or that a man has gone”’the other way”. Otherwise, it’s another way to get their indulgence heighten farther. Just like women feel pleased while having their anus played, incidentally because their g-spot also can be better reached that way, the men could get their anus penetrated and not quit being men. No wonders that a penis shoveled all in might mean something entirely different, henceforth this piece sheds light on the insertion of fingers yet the mouth and hands approached in the male anus. To let his female approached this area remains unacceptable to man, thus many women wouldn’t even hint the possibility of bringing it across in fear of being misunderstood. And the men wouldn’t ask either, inbeing afraid of their females having second thoughts towards their sexuality. None of it is true. Men can let their anus being played, probed, and licked that they won’t have to swap their sexual orientation. It’s more of a cultural question than anything else and lingers to the fact that homosexuals can derive pleasure in anal penetration. This is so because as far as gay couples go, anal sex comes across as the only mode a couple could have sexual intercourse. This question is highly controversial and a lot can be talked about it. But all that can be said in short is that, allowing being played in there cannot override someone’s sexual orientation. Its misuse to say that a man who lets that taken place would be homosexual. He might as well be just spicing it up along with his partner, just another silly sex games. Then, by the way, would score much more out of this game.

Kisses,

Jesse~

The Secret Spot Most Men Don't Know About

Beforehand, let us define the prostrate gland in terms of sexuality.
As a sexual gland its role is responsible for the fluid part of the semen.
Anatomically speaking, related directly with the bladder and because of it, nearly all of the diseases linked to its malfunctioning would show up telltale signs whilst urination.
As far as the male population is concerned, there would dish out bad news when it comes to sex-linked disorder. Owing to acquired reputation in that the so-called “probing” test aka “rectal poke”, whereby the real men somehow tend to turn noticeably worked up. On which point those macho-orientated mostly.
Most likely, those inclined to reluctance when the time comes for invasive techniques, in turn, preemptive procedure and of great importance.
Nevertheless, lurked not only drawbacks within this otherwise favored synonym of blissful pleasure. Are we all clued up on the above outlined? In a nut shell it boils down to the male G-spot.
For those who reckoned that only women would have G-spots, you’re extremely wrong.
Embedded in the prostrate gland slightly below the bladder and just off the testicles lies the man’s G-spot.
Yielded by the G-spot is sexual arousal stemming from imposed compression on to the prostrate gland at the beginning of sex play. Some times right by foreplay so much for the pubiccoligeneous muscle brought into action while getting a hardon and of fretting.
Despite having only mentioned indirect stimulation so far, on which point maybe the spin off of a fine tuned sex act when nature takes its natural course.
The dweller for the male G-spot comprised by a well-hidden place as the women’s likewise. This sexually prone spot could the man himself locate and relish by blissfully.
Get started there and then by the finger probing of perineal surroundings (right behind the scrotum on to the hairless spot that is the crack pattern right in the middle of his legs) or with the tongue if partner aided. This sex spot slightly protrudes if tickled on properly leaving a man biased to derive profoundly pleasurable inducement.
Otherwise finger insertion/probing followed by circular motions alongside alternated pressure applied on its walls. Given the odds locating the elusive g-spot carelessness might inflict considerable distress in the recipient.
It requires patience, while working from scratch, even more so since your partner by pulling a strained face will give it away whether pleased or ever any sexual pleasure was for him in the first place.
That said boosted up stimuli turning casual sex into an unforgettable moment, for both sexes.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sex Relations

Which one is right…to have several sexual partners or only one? The Indians Tupis-Caraibas from the Brazilian hinterland agree on that the tribe chief takes up many wives at the same time, so long as they are all sisters. In certain Asian regions, the situation is somewhat reverse; a group of brothers gets to share the same wife. How is it supposed to explain the existence of kinds of relationship so different from ours? For time being, there used to believe that the family model based on the monogamy marriage, would be the final and superior stage of evolution for the humanity.
Consequently, the polygamy- marriage of a man with several women or a woman with several men- should match the remnants of an inferior type of family, which would have been about thousand of years a go. There used to be called “group marriage” or “sexual promiscuity” to namely such hypothetic pre-historic stage. After some time there was found that the family based on monogamy marriage was no privilege of those civilized-ones. It existed and still exists in most varied regions of the world. Although, with a higher frequency rate than in any other form of familial organization.
To pinpoint it on “primitive” societies seems common-place. It happens to be the case of the Nhambiquara, who are nomadic Indians of the Brazilian hinterland. In their midst, the strings that attach husband, wife and sons being extremely similar to those observed in the so-called “civilized” society.
In face of “well-behaved savages” as such, it turn out a lot harder to keep on talking about survival of the pre-historic family. Thus it was bizarre to concede that our conception of family was neither exclusive invention, nor the only way likely to regulate the rapport between the sexes and procreation. The predominance of monogamist marriage gets explained, above all, by a question of demographic equilibrium. The amount of men and women, in any given human population, tends to be approximately the same, unless exceptional conditions come to alter such proportion.
Yet polygamy may spring out in societies whereupon a restrict number of individuals gets to accumulate power and prestige sufficiently to “monopolize” the women as of the younger and most desirable. It’s significant that, in most “primitive” groups, being the polygamy privilege exclusive of chiefs. It’s interesting the example of the Naires, group which inhabits the Malabar Coast, in India. Bygone years, the war was the man’s primarily activity. It did not let them to constitute family. Thus marriage was a ceremony of symbolic meaning, which did not create any permanent bond between a man and a woman. The only unity for stable parenthood was constituted by a woman, her brothers and her sons.
The family and sexual relations have changed a lot in the world. Currently it’s commonplace finding families constituted by several different manners-with absence of both mother and father, sons being raised by next of kin, etc. Also it’s commonly found diverse sexual options. Some people prefer to have several sexual partners. Others would rather get involved with only one person.
What’s right and what’s wrong? There’s no answer to this question. Those “exquisite” familial and sexual relations come to show us how much of the behavioral diversity and demeanors lies within it. The important is the person feeling good about oneself and practice sex that is healthy.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Seducing

Mysterious is the ways that lead to the understanding of the feminine mind. As intricate as it may seem, the feminine mind continues to be an indecipherable enigma for men. Men hardly know what goes on in their own minds and in that how to get to the women’s heart in order to seduce them? If you’re a man and you’re interested, keep up with the following uncertainties, since for men, women’s minds are nothing but uncertainties.
To seduce a woman is not such an easy task. Flowers, a good restaurant, trying to impress her (what a mind job!), everything goes in the attempt to get to her heart.
Women work differently in comparison to men. Women’s minds have tortuous ways and to get to them as to have a close relationship demands cleverness. So, there goes a tip: men’s sexual urge is generally a reason for women’s disappointment. Like the animals, men and women have a love ritual to run before the consummation of the affair, which is praised by women. Until this consummation, which is generally decided by the women, men run around them like a dog without a bone, pleasing them in every possible manner until the so expected “yes”. No matter how things have changed since the sexual Revolution of the 60’s, women will always enjoy being pleased by men. Women are sensible and delicate individuals, so they expect a little bit of these same attributes from the men who are trying to seduce them. Therefore, in order to achieve their goal, men ought to play the game of seduction by women’s rules. Being objective, going straight to the point - in the sense, for example, to satiate sexual urges -, here, on this matter of seducing, has nothing to do with pleasing them. That’s why no hurry is suggested.
Beauty and brightness - Conversely to the men, women don’t give this too much importance to the beauty. Of course they feel attracted by handsome guys, but such a quality if not accompanied with intellectual attributes, is worthless. Ok, if you are an Adonis your beauty speaks for itself and you should not be reading this, but if you’re not... It is much more relevant for women that men show sensibility, intelligence, sense of humor than the way they look. Again, if the man happens to add these two qualities (beauty and brightness), ok, better for him, otherwise this should not be a reason for too much concern. It is not a general rule, but intelligence, sense of humor or sensibility (perhaps all of which together) may bring balance to the equation of those who lack beauty. An ugly but smart man may perfectly achieve his goal to seduce a woman. Furthermore, beauty is a subjective matter that varies from person to person.
Humor - Women like men who make them laugh. Men who have this ability denote intelligence. The man doesn’t exactly need to be a clown (this would repel them instead), but extracting a smile from their faces indicates progress in the intent of getting their attention and sympathy. A good round of laughs and sincere smiles sets the mood towards a relaxed atmosphere, which opens way for intimacy. That’s when the drinks come in. Alcohol (in a measured manner) turns laughs easier to come out. All this combined with the proper sense of humor may be an explosive invitational combination for the woman to become receptive.
Mutual seduction - And by the way, in a personal interrelation, who seduces who? It is possible that while the man assumes he is the one, who is seducing the woman, in fact it is her, who has already irreparably seduced him. If you’re trying to seduce a woman, isn’t it possible that it is so because you have already been hooked like a fish? And if she has already deliberately seduced you, wouldn’t it be the case to ask if the one who’s seduced you did this because you also have already seduced her without even notice it? Assumptions to make.
Whatever the ways to seduce a woman, the important thing is to never let the opportunity of seducing someone go wasted. Depending on the woman, the regret could be immeasurable. And so could be the reward for having tried at least.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Power

Traditionally, men have displayed such an obsessive attitude in relation to sexual desire. They seem on a quest for the capability to satisfy it as well as their friends. It has created a myth with respects to sexual potency, which only rivalries with the existent surrounding the relation between the size of the genital organs and virility.
The overvaluation of sexual acrobatics overlooks the so-important distinction between quality and quantity. As most men concern, the amount of orgasms reached in only one night has the same significance as the amount of points scored in a rugby match. On the other hand, the role that tradition reserves for the woman is of the passive object, of which sometimes is not even expected to reach out for thorough satisfaction.
A funny convention establishes that the man capable of going overboard in sex being admired as a hero. As for the woman who yearns for long-lasting relations or repetitive gets branded as “insatiable” or “nymphomaniac”. On a more serious note, the idea that the woman’s role in the sex act is not only of participation, but though equivalent participation as of the man, only recently began to be accepted. In fact, solely at the end of 1920’s the illiterate lot got into recognizing that the woman is able to induce orgasms much the same as the man.
From then on, the concept of the woman’s sexual role has been changing all the while ever so-rapidly, although not widely accept yet. Most women, of all walks of cultures, continuously conform themselves by leaving for the man all the initiatives in sexual intercourse.
Frequently, the woman judges that her “modesty” does not allow her to assume a more active position, or suggest techniques that would yield sex-related pleasure further. Nevertheless, a great many men would feel beside themselves if their partners had made the first move. After all, it would be a proof that she holds him in high regards. As long as the woman refuses to hold herself up more casually and actively, so sexual intercourse would be far out from reaching for the ultimate realization.
The so-called harmony in sexual relationship hinges as much on the balance of emotions as on the physical attraction. This aspect, grass-roots in partnership life, gets exposed to uncountable misunderstandings stemming from situations in everyday life.
At times, the husband complains that the passionate bride turned into a cold wife. He doesn’t realize that she might be unsatisfied with homebound chores, or that perhaps concern towards toddlers has had shifted temporarily her sexual desire.
In turn, the husband, all worked up from work hectic, may not be such a fierce lover of conjugal life’s heyday any longer. Mutual accusations of lax in interest or infidelity will not help to solve the problem.
Surveys on the frequency-rate of sexual intercourse in marriage come to show that there’s a huge discrepancy between couples. There are no evidences that the degree of satisfaction depends on the number of times loving is made. What might satisfy one couple might not serve for another. There’s no such a normal rate regarding sexual frequency in marriage, nor any consensus that assures a happy relationship. The most important is to each one unveil what brings fruitful outcome in sexual rapport.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Senses

A few years ago, I was contacted by a couple that had decided to undergo couple’s therapy in order to solve their sexual qualms. After a handful of sessions, there was being made clear that their sexual life was affected ( undesirous wife versus appetent husband), generating a sexual incompatibility, resulting in a series of complaints and claims from both sides.
The woman said: "when he was potbellied and double chinned he couldn’t care less for sex, but now, that’s all he wants... I’ve always been that way but now he’s begun to bother me". The husband tried to justify himself by saying that he was being like that in function of his work, but since that he’d retired, things have changed. Though, he made a particular remark that called upon my attention: "every night when i go to bed she has this gooey mask on her face and smells of garlic and it is impossible to have sex with such bad breath she’s got; i want a perfumed, appetizing, pretty woman, who i can touch... ". I’m not going to examine the essence of the therapy undertaken by the couple, what i’m going to do is to employ the husband’s phrase that made me write this article to get to the point. I am talking about the "senses".
We name sense to each of the forms to perceive sensations, according to the organs through which we perceive them. Humans possess five senses: sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Thus, if the senses are the primary source of communication with the external world, in the sexual intercourse there is the predominance of auditory, olfactory, gustatory, visual and tactile sensations, basically turning the sexual intercourse into a sensorial activity. Someone might say that in the human relations there is a certain predominance of one sense or more over others, and that it differs from gender to gender as well as from culture to culture.
The auditory faculty is of paramount importance for the human communication. To know how to listen to someone is of essence in the human liaisons and sexuality. In our culture women tend to be more susceptible than their male counterparts in relation to sounds, mainly to the human voice and music as well, which influence directly in the sexuality of the couple. I’m used to women complaining of not being heard, and also they would appreciate if their partners whispered romantic words as well as they never say “I love you”.
As for the olfactory sense, it seems to exert a more affective influence in men over sexuality than audition. Havellock ellis remarked that “odors are essentially appropriated to control over our emotional life as to enslave us to them”.
The palate is the only sense, in and as itself, without direct relation in sexuality, however cross-modal.
Therefore, we may say that odors and scents whenever linked up might become either repulsive or attractive( some may enjoy the smell and taste of tobacco and/or alcoholic beverages, others may otherwise).
The sight stands out as the main port of reception and perception of the surroundings. It’s through the sight that we’re able to perceive the sexual characteristics and notions of aesthetics culturally conceived.
In the general consensus men are moved by the looks, as in excitement at the first sight.
When a man ogle an attractive woman, he is actually visualizing her figure, that is to say, he looks at what arouse him and sparks off his sexual fantasies( maybe her hair color, skin complexion, mouth, breasts, back side, eyes, height, or else).
In relation to the sense of touch, it’s said that, the sexual intercourse is in itself a touching act. The biologist conforto has defined it in biological terms “as a contact between two epidermis, and a psychological matching of two fantasies”. Hence, through the skin(erogenous zones) and the one who gets to feel it, we come to experience sensations of intense pleasure. And it then, may determine the very difference between a pleasant experience or otherwise.
The classic philosophy states that nothing reaches our intellect by pass from our senses.
Regardless of which sense predominates in men or women, all senses whether in a bigger or lesser degree come into play in the human sexuality to trigger either positive or negative sensations. Being the senses responsible of all responses of the human sexuality and its outcome.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Eroticism

Eroticism lies in sexuality, but it's through the human mind that all the historical contexts spawn. Thus, helping us to comprehend all its concepts throughout history.
Accounts on sexual beauty and sexual fantasies epitomize the idea of eroticism, as the vital essence of the art of sex and sexuality. Erotica has in its scope, aesthetic notions of the human figure so to be admired and contemplated.
Remarks found in literature define eroticism as a state of sexual excitement, more prone to experiment sexual excitement than average people, sex in literary guise, art or doctrine, and state of love-ridden passion.
Underlying in eroticism there's history of cultures, creeds, religions and the physical body and mystery ridden, which engulfs and brings on certain restlessness of the man in relation to the human nature.
The understanding of the word eroticism has been undergoing alterations all the while, as such, stems from our own perceptions of the world. Sensations experienced in life, dreams, desires and idealizations with the sexes.
A man's perception, a magnifique faculty that differentiates us from the other animals is the very tonic or eroticism, as it has its peak in the use of creativity. The emulation of art, in the beauty of bodies united the symbolic value of images, wonderful and abound. Art never goes on short supply and eroticism is intimately linked to it.
So far so good, as we referred only to a handful of brief comments on what eroticism would be for the public appreciation.
Nevertheless, the word eroticism imbues more than we can imagine, and for a better understanding, we travel back in history to the ancient Greece.
The banquet of Plato the Greek philosopher has Aristophanes as one of its guests, who in turn tells that before the wake of Eros the humanity consisted of three sexed beings made of male, female and androgynous.
The androgynous beings of round-like shape had four hands and four legs, two faces and two genitals, four ears but only one head. They were powerful beings and out of the blue decided to challenge Zeus, ended up punished as Zeus cut them in halves.
The androgynous grew weak, but useful, becoming more numerous to serve the gods.
With the division of their bodies, these beings began to look for their other matching halves. When finding they would hug each other entwined in profound will of being reunited again to be happy ever after.
Eros spawned from it, the myth that unites the universal to the singular, the raw power that links the cosmos to each life form.
There two significant aspects in the Aristophanes' speech: - Gross reference to the power of Eros, whose power is capable of restoring the ancient perfection and replicating androgynous.- The notion of incompleteness and frailty of split up beings that devoid of Eros' strength would turn weak but useful to the powers that be.
These two aspects articulate the mechanisms of sexual repression, which are sophistically manipulated by protective agents of the social order.
As to art, in all its extension of artistic expression endues a veritable impulse to enlighten, remaining beyond swift moment and its union with the universe.The communication line established between the opera and viewer is visibly erotic. Thus, the first contact is always sensual between emulator and the artistic object.
Though, not a simple task to shed light on eroticism and all its manifestations, characters and myths lingering throughout the ages.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Fear of Sex

Certain families never mention or notice anything sexual. That is a way to deny sex. Adults brought up this way will later deny sex through remarks as 'sex isn't everything" or "I can't see anything special in sex ". Some of them so unconsciously behave to the point of deny the very existence of sex and sexual pleasure. There may lead to impotency or Vaginism. In other words, painful sexual relations caused by spasms of surrounding muscles of the vagina entrance.
Other families try to suppress sexual intents alleging that such deeds are dirty, much as any interest towards bodily excretions is considered as being "something dirty".
For many in our society, "dirt is synonymous of sex". Children educated this way grow up with the idea that feeling sexual pleasure is something impure.
When knowledge about venereal diseases is of later acquisition, those people may develop phobia of sexual diseases as a way of expressing somewhat restrictions to sexual activity. Or else, as depressive and punitive belief that sexually transmitted disease means punishment for some sexual affair. Another castrating belief is to compare semen and vaginal fluid to excretions. To do so hampering any form of oral sex due to such unconscious mismatching.
Religious families often emphasize the unrighteousness in sex, which offends to God.
Whom "certainly" will spread his wrath in form of castigation and punishment for any interest in such issues. Some fathers teach their kids that sex and sexual expression are shameful things. Boys and girls are vulnerable to this sort of lecture, since dependant on affection of their parents.
As adults, these individuals may end up so ashamed that won't be able even to admit that someone touches or look at their sexual organs. Or still, won't be able to bear sexually linked thoughts, to feel sexually aroused or desire sexual relations.
A direct punishment, of psychic or cultural nature, stems a fearsome attitude regarding sex. Certain people show signs of fear as soon as getting sexually aroused. They may turn as agitated as tense with oncoming orgasm that it simply doesn't take place.
In our macho culture, girls are more repressed than boys, receiving a string of behavioral precepts, saying how "a good girl" should behave. When grown ups, even if they might believe having set themselves free from such nonsense, a great many of them wind up by changing their sexual behavior with aims of blending in such standards.
At different levels, women become inhibited even within the marriage context, as to how expose their bodies freely; take initiative, participating at will of foreplay in sexual activities or masturbatory.
It's difficult to impede conservative parents and traditional families that repress the youth's sexual desire. That certainly will lead to the existence of adults afraid of sex. As for them, or those still young, to find out that their sexual impulse is limited due to familial restrictions lived up in youth, is already a step towards getting on top of fear regarding sex.

Kisses,

Jesse~

After The Sex

In all pieces of literature, from tales to spicy narratives, the set up of a text usually respects a sequence of beginning, middle and end.
Drawing a parallel between literature and sex, there could be said that the aftermath of sexual relation should also be written in great style.
According to Masters and Johnson, physiological alterations that occur during a sex act, since the arousal phase in foreplay until the aftermath of sex, are interdependent and ought to follow a pattern of arousal-plateau-orgasm-resolution.
The sexual climax that most of times characterize itself by orgasm, perhaps for the vast majority of people, represents the peak of pleasure sensations up until then in store, in spite of it the foreplay and the aftermath shouldn't deserve less attention.
The aftermath of sex has profound significance, mostly for the female universe, consequently, with huge discrepancies in the behavior of males and females, being regular complaints by their side in relation to this period.
For men, physiologically speaking, the aftermath of sex has its beginning with the loss of penial intumescence, which coexists with a sudden loss of desire and sexual interest.
In this period, blood flows rapidly out of the penis and pelvic organs, which results in loss of erection and beginning of the refractory period. The vast majority of men try to get away from their partners, mainly from physical contact, being such conduct instinctive sometimes.
A major reason for some is the fact of hyper sensibility of the penis after orgasm, which at times may turn touch uncomfortable or even painful. Yet, the soothing sensation of lethargy and weakness experienced has its explanation by the relaxation of musculature, which was flexed and strained during sexual intercourse.
Psychologically, the aftermath of sex doesn't impart great significance for men.
As for women, certain unusual events take place post sexual act.
In a woman, the decline time of arousal is much longer than compared to a man, which turns her highly responsive to new sexual stimuli shortly after orgasm, being the refractory period non-existent.
Some women, post-orgasm, remain excited and ready for a new sexual intercourse, nevertheless, not having their desire sassed out by partners in most instances, poising the most liberals to rely on masturbation as means of satisfaction.
Due to a non-dissociation love-sex, typical of the female behavior, a woman in this period likes to feel reassured, prizing physical contact that may come in form of hugs, caress and/or cuddles. Romance is almost a rule for them.
Despite looking as though men and women discord altogether about what should be done after sex, the state of affairs mustn't be obligatorily so complicated.
If there's a hint of knowledge about intimacy and complicity between couples, there will be likely to be found a highly pleasurable solution and that certainly would live a degree of satisfaction quite reasonable for both.
Always emphasizing that sex is very good, but done with love is even better.

Kisses,

Jesse~

When Sex Gets Boring

It is known that all human beings are unique in their existence. Hence there can be said that regardless of sex, race, creed, values, financial status, color, education among others people are different while individuals.
Although are such differences that influence in a direct and indirect manner their relationships. I mean that when two people meet up, such discrepancies may contribute or not to getting a relation established, yet influencing in the kind of such relation.
Therefore it is only a matter of time for the duos to get into a routine stuck in a rut, boring, more often than not hard to realize or else parted. It ends up by affecting sex as well. Innumerous are the cases that contribute to a routine establishment. The most cited by the couples are work, studies, and kids; besides lack or romanticism thereafter the relation acquires stability.
Whether singles, heterosexuals or homosexuals the routine complaint has been always present, so much so that many end up conforming to it by judging that there isn't much to be done. Whenever this theme is approached in therapy I wonder what happened to each one's creativity, dropping the hint that creativity is pivotal if not major allied in overcoming routine and that includes sexual routine. Hard? No, it isn't, only takes willingness.
Books can turn out to be key allied. Literature about sexuality is so rich. Apart from information regarding sex, there are books that approach the subject in the most varied manners- understanding how sexuality works in man and woman, different modes of seduction, romances, it is likely to come in handy for the subject at hand.
Movies, whether in the pictures or homebound, on top of enabling us to dream, laugh, cry may aid towards sexuality- as in movies with sensual scenes, erotica and art-noir of sex flicks and snuffs, and also catching up with routine. one too many couples account that after watching certain scenes would employ them to revive their sexual fantasies.
Dinning out, dancing, traveling are demeanors that would aid detouring from routine. Romantic cards, petty luck-charms, a gesture of unexpected reassurance, on which point aid to keep routine -formation at bay. Preparing a candle-lit dinner in that aromatherapy, at home or in a hotel, are unexpected surprises that revive the very flame of romanticism, thus coming into play to spice up the sexual relation.
Men and women by and large enjoy dressing up hence seduce the other, both appreciate good looks, exquisite fragrances. Most men find sexy a beautiful piece of lingerie, others revel in leather gear. By contrast women prize caress exchange in foreplay, even if the other's body isn't in shape. Some also enjoy seeing their partners in fancy-dress for a session of strip tease, the same goes with men.
Dildos, whips, rabbits, cuffs, erotic massage, so far the arsenal is immense, and that's the reason why creativity is so important. As far as breaking the routine goes it is corner stones to care for the one next to you. Liking, needs and limitations should be respected under the fabric of all effort being in vain.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Can Women Separate Sex and Love

This is an article I read the other day and decided I wanted to share it with you all here. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Enjoy.

Canvas my works in the SirensMag archives, and you will discover a theme: I enjoy the male form, and I have a healthy sex drive. I also live in New York City, which has a notorious-yet-accurate reputation for wringing the romance right out of life. (Normal-people life, not Nora Ephron-scripted life.) Happily, New York also has a lot of people in it, many of whom are attractive and sex-starved. Do the math, and there you have it: I exist in a world where sex is easy, love is hard, and either way, I still crave sex.
So yes, it's true: I have had sex minus the love, or the promise thereof. And here's the kicker: I am absolutely fine with that. Not "fine" like passive-aggressively not-really-fine. Not "fine" like totally-defensive-about-it fine. Just totally okay with the situation. Not over the moon, naturally, more like caught between the moon and New York City, as it were. I mean, who wouldn't prefer to be having mind-blowing sex regularly with their soulmate? (And if all I've done here is make some kind of sense of that lyric, I'm pretty satisfied.)
I'm a crazy hopeless lunatic romantic, I swear to you. I am, no exaggeration, always in some form of love -- coming out of it, going into it, somewhere in the middle of it. I will swear under interrogation that that's not true, of course; I will not tell you, for instance, whom I could currently claim to be in any stage of love with. But I am. Don't let me tell you otherwise. The point being that I loooove love. And despite reams of missteps in the name of romance, I'm willing to go at it again and again, quite like the trusty definition of insanity about trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
However, often I'm busy. Other times I'm exhausted. Most of the time there simply aren't any soulmates in the offing. (Which is to say that whomever I claim to love at the moment has a girlfriend or lives in another state or is busy touring the country to promote his smash album "FutureSex/LoveSounds.") So I find myself with a potential partner I like well enough, but do not and will not ever love. Maybe we had an instant connection over our love of books, or maybe he was just too freaking yummy to pass up. A real, live man is just better than a vibrator. I don't care what kind of technological advances are coming out of Toys in Babeland.
Many of my girlfriends gasp in wonder at my apparently superhuman ability to transcend the sex-love connection. "I just can't do it," one single one says. "I don't think I could handle that if I were still out there," the married one says. What I say is I don't see any choice. If we're going to do this putting-off-marriage thing we're now officially doing, according to last year's breathlessly reported census results, and we're going to focus on careers instead of kids, and we're going to wait until we find the Big Love before settling down, well, how is it that we're not going to act like nut jobs in the meantime? How are we going to quell that desperate look in our eyes when we meet a prospect? And how are we going to stop ourselves from being blinded by lush lips or a six pack? Girls, there's only one answer: We have to break the ironclad love-sex bond. It's simply the only way to survive all this without going mad.
Heck, one of my friends goes as far as saying she wishes she could have gotten around to a little recreational sex as an adult -- but life had other plans, and she spent all of her 20s in love with the man she's now about to marry. "I did have that kind of sex when I was too young to enjoy it," she says. She learned most of the ropes from her current beau -- who also happens to be The One. Which some of us might say is lucky -- but "I don't see it as luck," she says. "I love him, of course, but I feel like I missed out on an experience."
Another friend says unapologetically that she absolutely can separate sex and love. (She has some stories to prove it, trust me.) But she's currently in one of those mid-20s in-flux relationships -- i.e. she's still in love with her boyfriend, but they're on a break to figure out their lives -- so she says, "I can't right now because I'll feel guilty about being a slut."
Myself, I came into all this the hard way. I'd been with my boyfriend for more than 10 years, and then I'd broken our engagement and left him. I was, essentially, primed to have the college-type experience I'd given up to be with only him. And I was in New York, the perfect place for a 30-year-old to act like a coed. So I experimented -- made out with a lot of guys in bars right after meeting them, made out some more in taxis and on street corners. I purposely went after guys I wouldn't have considered before: everything from stuffy lawyers to flashy businessmen to too-young actor/bartenders. At one point, I was actively avoiding anyone I could possibly fall for (no offense, guys from that time in my life!). I needed some experience -- I didn't want to feel like I'd missed out on anything by the time I met the genuine next Love of My Life.
It was during that time that I learned that what you get in the standard, responsible, very much warranted sex talk from Mom in adolescence isn't necessarily true in modern adulthood: Sex isn't just something two people do to show they love each other very much. Sex is a biological drive, and you will lose your mind if you repress it for too long. We're all a little different on this score; some women can go much longer than others. But in a dating era when not looking crazy is half the battle, showing up to the party sexually satisfied goes a long way. Then you're not clinging to Mr. Good Prospect because he can handle that for you; you're flirting with him because you see him for what he is, and you like it. Imagine how loony you'd act if you literally depended on some guy to satisfy another basic biological need, like eating. Yep, that's about how you look when you come at the right guy with your libido on overdrive.
This doesn't mean we should all go on sexual rampages, mind you. It's like eating and drinking: Listen to your body, and do it in moderation. You will know when you're satiated, and then you will stop. You won't go after anything that's blatantly bad for you. You will use your best judgment. (P.S. A good tip from a friend's ex-lover: If you're going to have recreational sex multiple times with the same person, "You can only cash in three times." After that, a little static cling is bound to develop, no matter how evolved you think you are.)
These days, I'm truly, honestly ready -- and hoping -- to meet the man who will bring it all back together for me. I want soulmate sex, or at least potential-soulmate sex. And in the meantime, I do have a vibrator -- and the reassurance that I live in a city full of eligible males.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Bizarre Sexual Encounters

I’m used to the remark that sex bears no boundaries and what really counts is to reach out together for pleasure, regardless of the means employed, so long as there’s mutual agreement on the sexual policies adopted.
By the way, some people seek out sexual satisfaction through sexual practices deemed fetishists, exhibitionists and even paraphylia.
Certain men and women would get beside themselves by having their bodies covered in warm spray of urine from peers. Others however, would rather get it aimed into their mouths. This practice, named urophilia might work out as foreplay or aftermath.
Likewise, another variant called coprophilia wherein the matter of delight is the act of excretion and smearing faeces all over the body yet on the face, yielding plenty of thrills.
The gerontophylia stands for fond of having sex with people of advanced age. That’s, as far as its followers concern, watching over a woman who bears all the changes taken care by ageing, a must for the male sex liking.
There are those who’d rather make out with dirty people, as of deplorable self-hygiene and low living standards. Yet those who’d enjoy having sex with beasts, incidentally dogs and horses, there might as well be other species. There sex flicks can be found exclusively on this theme, being women its major role player. There’s another not so-conventional sex trend namely fisting, consist of inserting a hand, arm and devices of assorted varieties and thick calibre inside the vagina or anus. There are those willing to perform in front of a webcam on the net for the sake of those eager to watch it.
Alas, the most diverse and bizarre on sexual liaisons can be reached through the internet, whether pictorial or footage. Yet those hardcore adepts of the conventional approach in sex would every so often tap on such imagery, off chance at least. Too often not believing in what could happen then.
We could go on to citing other less conventional trends in sexuality airing, such like ultimate sadism that’s mutilation ridden and the preference of certain women for having their faces and bodies awash in semen through direct shooting of many men at the same time.
The main point in all of it is to be aware that everyone has got the right to have a great time even though some might believe that these folks are really sick in the mind by getting themselves into it. The fact of deriving sexual pleasure out of bizarre antics doesn’t stand for crime in anyways, as long as there’s partnership, who in turn mustn’t feel pushed or harassed into it.
By and large these people lead normal lives as they go about business during the day, singles and married ones altogether. The only discrepancy seems their approach, not always focused on sex, rather peculiar from average.
As mentioned beforehand, within walls anything goes for the sake of ultimate sexual bliss, providing the rights for other parties get ensured as well. Once sorted out it wouldn’t concern anybody else to judge someone for having a taste apart from average. We all have tastes and likings and all of us sought after our own happiness, even if it meant the fruit of assets so outlandish.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexual Deviances

The individual in for sexual behavior “deviations” never relishes from a “normal” sexual relation. The society judges that, if the individual prefers or bears special erotic necessities, there might be something wrong. Then when a person by any given reason, is unable to enjoy the so-called “normal” sexual intercourse, how should we confront this situation?
Recently, the study of the nature and the motivation for “deviances” received great thrusting. Never the less, lots remain yet to be studied. What in heaven or on earth would prompt someone to become fetishist or transvestite? Evidently there are many factors that would lead a man or woman to adopt an unusual sexual attitude. Broadly speaking, the children of our culture suffer sentiments of guilt regarding sexuality under its growth-process. Due to the strong cultural-taboo of incest, this brewing sexuality needs to be channeled outside the family, ending up by becoming one of the signs of the son’s crescent independence. By the way, most of the cases of sexual “deviants” recorded are of men. Thus, the female sexual anxiety many times manifests itself through frigidity that is socially rather subdued exteriorization.
Besides, it doesn’t claim much fuss the fact that two women walk along embraced each other. The same goes with the way of dressing up, she is more than welcome in butch clothing and no one would judge her as a homosexual. However, we are capable of viewing the so-called sexual “deviations” not as diseases, but yes as peculiar behavior.
Fear, irony, or the false moralize of so many out there in face of sudden erotic urges are most of the time byproduct of ignorance. Trivial sexual antics and innocent, as masturbation, are today still erroneously considered perpetrators of mental disturbances and conduct misbehave. Most of the so called-perversions take place in fantasies and dreams of “normal” people. Female hair and the woman’s underwear are erotic stimuli for the vast majority of men. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they suffer from sexual deviation. Hence, it would be necessary that these stimuli would be the main or only source of desire.
Modern society establishes that normal sexual life for the individual comes based on the everlasting relationship sense and with an adult of the opposite sex. Therefore, the problem with the “deviant” doesn’t lie so much within the sexual disorder but though in the necessity of coming to adapt to surroundings likely to condemn him. He is unable to establish a sociably acceptable relationship and considered normal. Consequently, finds himself liable to a life of solitude and sentiments of regret and guilt. Sexual “disorders” are, most often, results of traumas in the social trajectory of an individual.
Fate-twists in the familial rapport or traumatic experience may well disrupt the emotional evolution of the youth. As a result, he will display inadequate reactions for his age, especially concerning attitudes and sentiments related to sex. Excluding the rapists and the pedophiles, the rest of erotic impulses themselves do not represent a menace to society. Generally these impulses also don’t represent any harm to the individual.
It’s obvious that the problem appears when life in general-holding accountable social rapport, work, study, family, etc, begins to get affected. But in this case, the culprit is not the impulse in specific. Any other behavior (cleansing-mania for instance), when becomes compulsive, also disturbs the individual’s lifestyle.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sex Fetish

As sexual disorder from the group of paraphilia the fetishism stands for the use of inanimate objects-(fetishes) during both the sex act and masturbation. The most commonly objects of fetish happen to be knickers, socks, shoes, either leather or PVC made boots or other pieces of the female guardrobe.
Anyone in for this kind of disorder usually masturbates while holding, rubbing or sniffing on a fetish object or might ask his partner to use it during sexual encounter. Thus pleasure for the fetishist lie in the object of fetish, in other words, he would only feel pleasure in sexual intercourse or masturbation if the object of desire is present. His arousal comes linked to the contact, thus the visualization of the fetish object other than sexual intercourse in itself.
A fetish, by the way, seems highly sought after or emphatically preferred as far as sexual arousal concerns, as men seemingly prone, in its absence, to display erectile dysfunction.
Does not fall under fetishism the individual that refrains oneself to the use of articles as of the female attire employed in transvestitism, or when the object is genitally stimulating-wise and devised for that purpose, as for example, the vibrator.
The fetishist is diagnosed when his preference becomes exclusivity and generates psychological sufferance or personal in as social rapport. A fetishist might cause disarray to his partner, should her ever refuse to put up with the object of fetish. Most often than not the women get to find out that their partners are fetishists, given they seem unable to concentrate on the sex act in the absence of such objects.
The woman could wound up feeling minimized in the relation or even as if ‘cheated on” by an inanimate object. Its thought important to remind that all paraphilia, amidst them, fetishism, are demeanors far different from those socially accepted. Furthermore, those into it get no other normal sexual activity, his sexual preference becomes exclusive and in its absence, both arousal and sex become unviable.
The fetish act gets an edge over; as it does not otherwise encompass what is regarded normal in terms of sexuality. However not exclusivity as far as disorders go, because those who bear paraphilia seem prone to display more than two types of disorders at the same time. Usually, fetishism springs in adolescence, despite the fetish might have embodied some special importance in infancy. Once established, fetishism is bound to become chronic, that is, would last forever in the sexual life of the individual.
Those into fetishism are people in for a sexual disorder. They have no control over their urges and their need for objects in sexual intercourse. Let it not be confused by some bad streak or other form of misbehave. It goes without saying that it’s thought fetishist that individual that is only able to keep up with sexual activity along with the use of objects. By contrast some indulgence or desire for asking the partner to fling some device in a one-off sex romp is no disorder; so-sharing part of the world of fantasies and desires of common ground for us humans.
In sex, thus sexuality, respect for the partner and the ideas trade off means everything. If there is will ever to indulge some fantasy in, there should consult the partner and gauge his willingness towards the idea. Nothing is totally prohibitive, what is not regarded as normal is the restriction towards some kind of sexual behavior.

Kisses,

Jesse~