Female Ejaculation

There is only one mystery greater then that of the female orgasm, it is female ejaculation. We've all heard stories about friends who have been with women who can ejaculate, but how many of us have actually experienced it first hand? When asked to describe the ejaculations, responses are often quite similar, "It's liquid, it's clear, it's wet, and it squirts". Beyond this, the details have always been quite gray.
Let's begin by understanding what the elements of the ejaculate are. The four main ingredients are Glucose, prostatic acid phosphatase (an enzyme which is characteristic of the prostatic component of semen), urea, and creatinine. The last two ingredients are commonly found in urine, but are in lower levels than in urine. So there is some urine in the ejaculate. Some studies conclude that in some women the ejaculate is more like urine, and in other women it more like a prostate fluid. Until this question is answered fully, its safest to assume that it is a bit of both. The quantity of ejaculate can range from a few drops, to a shower of it.
Where does the ejaculate come from? There are several theories here on this, but remaining constant amongst all of them is that female ejaculation comes from G spot stimulation (please read G spot section for more information). When the G spot is stimulated over a period of time, the spongy tissue that creates this area fills with fluid. Women who can ejaculate often hold back, thinking that it is urine. The exact source of the ejaculate is still debated by researchers, but it does appear to come out of the urethra (like urine) and/or nearby Skene's Gland, so that is where the confusion takes place.
So what's left? You might want to learn how to get someone to ejaculate, or how to do it yourself. Like exploring everything else new in your experience of sex, you should work towards it, but not put unnecessary stresses on yourself by making it your goal. Also, it is not known whether all women are able to ejaculate, so if you or your partner is unable to - don't worry, but perhaps keep trying once in a while. As you already know, the ejaculate comes from the urethra or Skene's Gland, so it feels a lot like urine.
Apart from people who love golden showers, how many people do you know who feel comfortable enough to risk urinating on or around their partner? It may be a good idea to allow yourself or your partner some privacy to understand this function of their body; at the very least let your partner now that you are excited about it, not grossed out. That being said, great places to try this out include the shower or bathtub, in or near water, or on top of some old blankets that you don't mind getting wet.
Good luck - and please be sure to write in and share your experiences of this wonderful type of orgasm with others...

Kisses,

Jesse~

Does Size Matter?

It is perfectly normal to feel some nervousness or uncertainty when you first become intimate with someone. Poor body image, weak self-confidence or sexual inexperience can all contribute to this negative effect. Penis size, or a lack thereof, can create so much confusion and insecurity, even to the point of obsessiveness. It is useful to have SOME size, but more than a few inches doesn't make the difference between a good lover, or bad. In any case, you don't have to let it weaken your performance; you can pleasure the heck out of someone regardless of size.
We’re no longer living in the proverbial caveman days where a big penis dictates a man's virility, sexuality and masculinity; if it's connected to a vulgar, inexperienced oaf then he doesn't stand a chance. Although a big package might make your life a little easier, you won’t have much of a grace period if you have inexcusable sexual habits. Being a master in the bedroom is not just about deep penetration. It's about having confidence, openness and impressive bedroom skills - with emphasis on skills...
Some women truly don't even like a big penis – it can be uncomfortable or downright painful! Also, of much more importance to a woman is penis girth (measurement around the penis) rather than length; the nerve-endings within a woman's vagina end within a couple of inches, so the sensation of 'feeling full' is generally more about the width than anything else.
Work on your skills and up-sell them! Your penis won't be as big as one of her dildos, so don't bother competing! Why not become the master of cunnilingus and make sure to hone your fingering skills? Or how about turning into a walking sex encyclopedia? You'll impress her with your knowledge and dazzle her with your talent.
Maybe consider a massage course; it can make your partner feel so aroused and will help you appreciate the importance of touch and sensuality.
Feel confident about yourself – if she doesn't think that you're comfortable with your penis, she definitely won't be. The way that you feel about yourself is very apparent to women because they always want to read between the lines. Don't direct so much apprehension to places you're uncomfortable with; a man with a very obvious complex is a big turnoff. She might not have even noticed had you not obsessed about it.
Respect your sexual partner, whether they’re long term or not. This will translate to her feeling more comfortable and more receptive. The openness that she feels will actually improve her sexual experience with you (score for you) but she’ll be much more interested in reciprocating the same respect with inexhaustible invigorated effort. Score for you again.
Utilizing certain sex positions can make your penis seem like a giant's. Try integrating sexual positions that focus on g-spot stimulation; they make use of the right angles and shallower penetration. Avoid the showy poses that even the most endowed fellow couldn’t handle. Also consider seeking out specialty condoms that are tailor-made for a smaller penis – when you need to call upon them in your time of need, you won’t be worrying about how they fit.
Tighten up some other areas of concern in your life so that you have fewer things to worry about, let alone what other people might think of your penis. Even just the action of self-improvement will change your self-perception. There are things you could do to procure bedroom approval: exercising to improve body image; having better grooming techniques like trimming or shaving your pubic area; good hygiene (smelling good & having fresh breath); and, preparing your sex space for maximum impact (even if that is only just tidying it up).
No matter what size you are, one thing is for sure. The biggest thing that your partner will notice is how much you respect and satisfy them in bed.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Anal Sex Toys with Your Guy

If your guy seems a little shy when it comes to new things in the bedroom, a great way to bring up the idea of sex toys is to casually bring up the issue in a non-sexual environment. This way, it’s conversational and non-threatening. It is easy to find articles in all types of magazines that discuss the use of sex toys between couples and may help him to see that this is not a unusual act, but rather a well accepted one that in no way threatens his masculinity, nor criticizes any of your past experiences together. Sex toys are now widely accepted and available; the world is starting to realize that sex toys offer a unique way to explore our body (as well as our partner’s) and can add a great twist to a regular sex routine.
If your interest is anal play with sex toys, then you may have an additional barrier to overcome. The sometimes taboo area of male stimulation is anal, specifically the prostate. Your guy may not initially be into this, sometimes for the misguided reason that it is often associated with homosexual only activity. That is a shame as anal play can be equally enjoyed whether he is heterosexual or homosexual. If he’s not sure, sometimes slow progress is a great way to go. Start by just doing a lot of ass play. Then the next time you two are together try some anus stimulation without any probing. After that he may be interested in a small amount of finger insertion. Just take things slow and he’ll soon let you know whether it is an area of pleasure, or not.
A tantalizing way to get him involved is to let him watch you use your toys. Many men love to watch women masturbate, especially when he knows he can join in. Touch yourself; bring out your favorite toy. Let him use your toy on you; tell him where you like it, what you like, what you want, how it makes you feel. Show him how to use your anal toys on you. Then if he seems open to the idea, ask him if you can give him a turn. If he says yes, great, if not don’t just give up - sometimes these things take a little while to get used to. Now it’s finally time to enter the world of boys' toys.
Here we’ll look at a comfortable technique for giving him extra stimulation if he’s interested. From either in front or behind of him, stimulate his anus to help the muscles relax. Just as with anal sex (if you have ventured into that domain) it is important that the anus be relaxed and only gentle pressure be used to avoid both physical and psychological injury. Make sure you apply plenty of lube before very slowly and gently inserting your index finger up to the second knuckle. Curve your finger slightly towards his penis from inside. This should allow you to touch his prostate. For continued stimulation use a "come here" type motion against his prostate, tap it lightly, or slide your finger or a slim toy in and out of the rectum, achieving the same type of stimulation. For your own protection or comfort finger cots or disposable gloves can also be used, again with lots of lubrication. Be careful not to use a lubricant that may break down the materials of the glove or the finger cot.
If these tricks do the job to get him interested in sex toys (anal or otherwise) take a look at the range of toys that can pleasure. I don’t think either of you will regret it!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Healthy Body Makes For Better Sex

Anything that promotes whole body health can enhance optimal functioning in the bedroom. Like any other sophisticated machine, your body is at its best when none of its relevant aspects are ignored. To get your temple in prime operating condition, there are several aspects of body and soul to consider.
One indisputable reason to keep the arteries clear and the blood flowing smoothly is that a strong heart steadily pumping blood has a direct relationship to the strength of blood flow throughout the body. In both men and women strong blood flow to the genitals increases sexual arousal and (in men) intensifies the vitality and endurance of erection. Clogged arteries and sluggish blood flow result in decreased blood to the genitals and diminished arousal for both genders. If the blood flow is weak, so will be the performance.
A Healthy Diet
Most “Better Sex Diets” focus on the health of your heart and include a lot of fruit & vegetables, grains, legumes and moderate amounts of meat. In only 6 weeks the Better Sex Diet can reportedly increase your sexual vitality, potency and health, never-mind likely adding much-desired years to your (sex) life.
Popular myths have long included the power of aphrodisiacs over sexual prowess. Taking their name from Aphrodite (the Greek Goddess of Love), since time immemorial men and women have been in search of foods, formulas and functions that have the power to stimulate sexual desire and enhance performance. In the epic tale of Casanova the legendary lover extraordinaire is believed to have eaten as many as 60 oysters each day. As much as he enjoyed oysters, however, Casanova always insisted that women were his true cuisine.
Today, medical science and the charting of chemical processes have joined the more mystical knowledge about aphrodisiacs. In the case of oysters, not only are the sea-dwelling mollusks reminiscent of female genitalia, they are also rumored to be powerful aphrodisiacs thanks to their high concentration of zinc, iron and dopamine. In more recent news, word has spread about the libidinal effects of grapes, blueberries, eggs, cereal and vanilla ice cream.
What all of these foods have in common, in addition to fueling the aphrodisiac rumor-mill, is the perceived effectiveness of particular vitamins and nutrients in stimulating various sexual boosts. For example, the vitamins in eggs can supposedly reduce performance anxiety and premature ejaculation, the calcium in vanilla ice cream purportedly makes orgasms more powerful, and the folic acid in cereal keeps arteries clear, enhancing blood flow to the right places.
While it’s popularly thought that certain edibles can improve sexual health, nutritionists remind us that many of the legends were launched in an era when the human diet wasn’t as complete, and that too much of any particular vitamin or nutrient can have a negative effect on the body.
An Active Lifestyle
The importance of overall health for the promotion of sexual benefit is also evident in the development and maintenance of hormone production. While it is true that estrogen determines the development and function of female sex organs, testosterone powers the sex drive in both men and women. When the senses encounter sexual stimuli they are passed to the limbic lobe of the brain, thought of as the body’s 'pleasure center'. The limbic lobe sends signals via the nervous system to the pelvic region. Blood vessels in the genitals are prompted to dilate, admitting a rush of blood that inflates both male and female erectile tissues and increases sexual excitement.
The tissues then close off to prevent the blood from flowing out of the area. The result is erection and all the other signs of sexual exhilaration. Simultaneously, the neurotransmitters norepinephrine and dopamine are released, sending messages of pleasure and arousal throughout our bodies. This chemical cascade is responsible for healthy libido and sexual function and can be negatively affected by age, illness, stress or injury.
It is important to note that cardiovascular function is also improved by regular exercise. The promotion of a strong, repetitious heartbeat sends a surge of blood into your body’s intricate web of blood vessels and lowers the risk of plaque formation in artery walls that can slow blood flow and increase the blood pressure necessary to keep it flowing. Beyond a strong cardiovascular system, experts agree that a balance of body, head and heart contribute to a healthy sex life.
Numerous studies link exercise to increased sexual function through physiological enhancement in muscle strength, tone, endurance and body composition. "Adults who exercise regularly not only have increased levels of desire, but also enhanced ability to perform sexually and greater sexual satisfaction," says Cedric Bryant, PhD, chief exercise physiologist for the American Council on Exercise.
The release of endorphins during and after exercise sessions are also known to ease depression and anxiety. Stress relief and increased self esteem result in elevated mood and increased confidence, and contribute to the natural invigoration necessary for increased libido and stamina. The benefits of physical fitness are also known to improve self-image and perceived desirability.
A study done by Harvard School of Public Health examined the exercise regimens of 31,000 male health care professionals. Of the participants, those who were sedentary were 30% more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than those who exercised regularly. The University of British Columbia recently undertook a study relating to women and exercise that found those who exercised for 20 minutes per day experienced greater sexual responses than those who did not.
Specialists suggest that it is important to sexual health not to over-do the workout. In the same way that too much of one vitamin can have negative consequences on the body, too much exercise can decrease testosterone levels in both sexes and diminish sexual appetite.
A Healthy Mind
If we believe, as suggested by therapists that sex is, first and foremost, a psychological issue then we have to pay some attention to ourselves beyond diet and exercise. Doctors suggest that psychology is so powerful that pleasure is increased by removing the mental blocks that limit our ability to sense pleasure at its fullest.
The physiological human animal is an experiential and sensory beast; we are continuously aroused by ideas and images that stir our sexual imaginations. Just as partners for reading or recreation require a shared interest in specific books or sports, so do sexual partners need to have mutual interests. But the opportunity to indulge healthy sexual fantasies might be only a conversation away. By communicating your desires to your partner, and acting on the games that have been running around in your head, the shame or guilt attached to the ideas will likely vanish by letting them out of the mental cage, not to mention take on new life as you explore them with your partner.
Another aspect of a healthy mind is being able to unwind from the mental fatigue caused by the stresses of life. Bouts of mental exhaustion, caused by a stressful work life, a heavy week of school, or one of life’s other trenches, can result in decreased sexual appetite and negative effects on self-esteem and confidence. In terms of managing mental stress levels, some techniques include: getting an adequate amount of sleep, soaking in a hot tub, meditation, yoga and just about any other pass time that allows us to get our mind off the stresses of regular life.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Food Foreplay

Foreplay is essential to a great sexual experience. But what happens when you've tried all the 'regular' warm-ups? What can you do to spice up sexual encounters with your long-term partner? What if you only have limited sexual experience and want to explore trying something new?
One thing many people use to expand their sexual horizons is to involve food in foreplay. In this article, we explore how food can come into play during foreplay and sex. We’ll look at a couple of tamer options, and a little from the more adventurous side.
To start with, any sexually experienced person will tell you foreplay is essential to sex. Without it, the whole experience changes, often for the poorer. Foreplay is an essential part of building arousal, which is the major ingredient in great sex.

But why food?
As a starting point, you need to ask yourself if you think you’d be turned on by something a little different during one of your next sexual experiences. You may think that it’s a little strange, but if you are willing to try it out, you might discover a new way to expand your love life. If it sounds like something you or your partner might enjoy, just keep an open mind and give it a try. Many people have found it exotic and rewarding.
On the other hand, it could sound like a good idea at first, but once you get into actually trying it, it may feel a little too strange for you, or for your partner. It’s important to stay honest with yourself and with your partner about it. If you're feeling too odd, just say so! Something like "you know Honey, this isn't really doing it for me; how about you?" It's important to ask how your partner feels, because if you're feeling odd, they might be too. If it doesn’t work for you, don't push it and ruin an otherwise great night of sex!
Eating before foreplay
Many people have used food in their foreplay before without realizing it. Ever share a fruit and cheese platter at bedside on a romantic evening? Maybe with the added touch of a little champagne?
Probably the tamest of possibilities, eating sweet fruit and exotic cheeses as a lead-up to a sexual encounter is a fairly common experience. Although not considered a part of foreplay by many, the act of eating just prior to sex is, in fact, the first stages of foreplay. The food taste of food enhances a person’s awareness of their body, and can for some create feelings of comfort and even wealth, which can be a turn-on for many people. It tends to have a mood enhancing, almost aphrodisiac effect for many men and women.
Try setting up a snack of fruit and cheeses along with a beverage as a way to seduce your partner. Grapes, strawberries, kiwi fruit, pineapple, mango, orange and apple slices, and small pieces of honeydew or watermelon all make good choices. For cheeses, try using thinly sliced cheddar or mozzarella, or if you're into more sophisticated flavors, ask the person at your local deli about more exotic cheeses like bree or smoked guerre. Impress your partner with a little knowledge of your subject at the same time. The fact that you’ve spent the time to prepare the snack, and even to learn a little about cheese, can be an extra turn-on for many.
Talking about how good things taste is a great way to get your partner attuned to their senses, which can act to heighten states of arousal.
Using food on your partners skin
We’ve seen it in some of Hollywood's hotter love scenes – the ice cube run over naked skin. But have you ever thought of using a piece of fruit? This is the next step in exploring food foreplay.
Try this simple sexual game with a piece of your favorite fruit. Take a piece of watermelon, strawberry, mango or any other juicy fruit and run it slowly over the erogenous zones of your partners’ body. Run the fruit slowly along lines that follow the contours of their body. Then use your tongue and follow the same path. It is sweet for you, and sensual and arousing to your partner. Again, if this sounds like a good idea, and you think your partner might enjoy it also, suggest it to them some time and gauge their interest.
Using food in fellatio or cunnilingus
Moving up on the ‘adventurous scale’, using food along with oral sex can also be an exciting new experience. The most popular items are whipped cream and strawberries, but many variations have been tried. Another common one is chocolate syrup. More than one woman have been known to keep a bottle of chocolate syrup next to their beds for just that purpose, giving their partners an added incentive to perform oral sex.
However, it is very important not to place items with high sugar content into the vagina, which has a finely balanced environment that can be badly upset by the introduction of sugars, potentially resulting in unpleasant yeast infections.
As a note – as the whipped cream, syrup, or fruit sugar begins to dry, things have the potential to get sticky. You may want to work a shower into the mix, or have a warm damp cloth near at hand.
You can try a variety of different sweet substances to find the stuff that works just right. One piece of advice it that you might think about keeping the food items (fruit or what have you) out of the refrigerator at least an hour ahead of time to let them warm up to room temperature before use to avoid discomfort. Unless of course your partner likes the whole ice thing...
Masturbation of self or partner with food items
At the top of the ‘sexually adventurous scale’, for this article at least, is the actual use of food in masturbation. This often involves long, thin vegetables such as zucchini or cucumber, used in all the same ways you would use a penis or dildo. Care should be used with carrots, as they are fairly rough skinned, and must be used with care so to avoid abrasions. At the same time, many find the new texture exceptionally arousing, gaining them new heights of stimulation and orgasm.
Here again you should consider warming the items up before actually using them in sex. Try letting them sit in a jar of warm water (not hot – we’re not making a stir fry here!) for five or ten minutes. Also, consider using some form of lube. Lube can improve the experience greatly, especially if it is flavored.

I hope that these ideas have been helpful. If you think you might like it, go ahead and give it a try! Many people find that using food in foreplay has made a very sensual addition to their sexual repertoire.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Kiss, Kissing, Kisses

I came across this article on different types of kisses and kissing and thought I would share it with all of you... I love kissing... ;>

Kissing is a delicate art and must be taken slowly with a new partner. It can be part of foreplay/sex - or simply an incredibly enjoyable act of romance and intimacy in its own right.
A good kisser knows how to pace themselves, has an active imagination, and understands what their partner likes or may not expect, but will enjoy. When kissing, remember the following: never slobber, don't stare, try not to belch, always pay attention with your non-visual senses (touch, hearing, etc.), and there is no such thing as too slow.
If you are unhappy with a kiss then chances are your partner is going to feel the same way. The best thing you can do is relax, and not just in your body, but your face, lips, neck, everywhere. Be relaxed and confident with how you kiss. Let yourself go with the flow of the moment and savour every second of it. While you are kissing, remember to use your hands, nose, and breath to entice your partner's senses. Everyone enjoys being touched anbd caressed while being kissed. Use your hands to gently caress the cheek, the jawbone, the back, arms, and collarbone. A gentle exhalation of air (remember that good mouth hygiene is important), can provide your partner with extremely light, warm feelings on their face, mouth and neck that are quite arousing.
Never "attack" someone when you kiss them, unless they like that sort of thing - and most people don't. Treat their lips like you would a dangerous creature. Move in slow and prepare for the kiss. Initial contact should be lips only, firm, yet gentle. React to how your partner is kissing. If they speed up, speed up with them. If they slow down, follow suit. Try to synchronize your actions with one another and always pay attention to their body language.

The following is a list of some simple techniques to spice up a kiss:

Triumverat
Kiss between the eyes, on the tip of the nose, and then on the lips.
Top and Bottom
Kiss the top lip, then the bottom lip, then both.
Lickable Lips
Run the tip of your tongue along your partner's lips.
Earlobecstacy
Gently kiss, nibble, and suck on the earlobe.
Facial Lines
Trace the neck and jawbone with your lips and tongue.
The Big Tease
Kiss everywhere but the lips, until your partner pulls you to their lips.
Caressed Lips
Rub your finger gently across their lips and then go in for a kiss.
Sensuality
Look in their eyes and whisper you want to kiss them. Press your lips gently to theirs', caress their lips with yours and then give her/him a passionate kiss.
Cheeky
Gently brush cheeks with your partner.
Eskimo Kiss
Gently rub the tips of your noses together.
Butterfly
Brush eyelashes with your partner. Make a fluttering motion of the eyelash by quickly opening and closing the eye.
Rose Petals
Make a small "O" with your lips. Press your lips against your partner's skin and suck softly. Lift your lips off a little, move over slightly, and repeat.
Hostage Kiss
Cover your lips with tape and get your partner's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say, tell them, "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss them passionately.
Strawberry Secret
Place a strawberry in your mouth without your partner knowing. Crush the strawberry in your mouth and feed some to your partner while you kiss.
Cold as Ice
Put a piece of ice in your mouth without your partner knowing. Kiss them on the neck and let the ice softly touch their skin.
Back Kisses
Snuggle up behind your partner and proceed to cover their back with little kisses.
Foot Kisses
When your lover comes home from work, or wherever, wash their feet and give them a massage. While you're giving them the massage, lean over and give little kisses on their feet.
Hershey's Kiss
Try not to kiss your partner all day. Throughout the day leave Hershey's kisses or some sort of romantic candy in places that they will know it's for them. Later in the day start leaving notes with poetry or quotes on kissing for them. After that, leave a love letter describing how you'd like to kiss them and the satisfaction that it would bring you. Once you feel they've had enough teasing, spend sometime rewarding them with lots of kissing! This is rewarding for yourself as well, since you've been thinking about kissing them all day too.
Red Light Kiss
When in the car with your partner, every time you stop at a red light, lean over and kiss them until the light goes green.
Recorded Kiss
Record the sound of yourself blowing a kiss. Then either e-mail it to your partner or leave a note somewhere with instructions to press play.
Video Kiss
Record on a videotape or web cam yourself blowing kisses to your partner and tell them how much you miss them.
E-mail Kiss
Draw or animate a pair of lips kissing. Then send it to your sweetheart.
The Lost Kiss
Look around your partner, looking under things and appearing like you're searching for something. When asked what you're looking for, say "I've been looking for a kiss all day but I can't find one anywhere. Oh wait, I found it." Then give your partner a kiss.
Wake Up Kiss
Before your partner awakes, lean over and kiss their cheek. Then give soft kisses across their cheek until you reach their lips.
Make Up Kisses
At the end of the day, sit down with your partner and ask them how his/her day went. Silently keep track of all the bad things that happened during the day. When he/she is finished, give them a kiss for each one. When asked what you are doing, say you are helping make up for all those bad things.
Post-It Kiss
Make a post-it note trail that leads to your lips. On each note leave a lipstick kiss and an arrow or clue to find the next note. Place the last note over or near your lips.
Full Body Meltdown
While your partner is laying down, slip over to them and start running your tongue, very gently, up their leg, arms, reaching their lips give them a full passionate kiss.
The Grandious Tease
Softly run your fingers across your partner's lips, lure them in to kissing you, but before you kiss, pull away and then go in for the kiss, then pull away again, etc., etc.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Foreplay

Foreplay is a fundamental part of the whole lovemaking experience. Most men and women experienced in sex will agree that the best sexual encounters should include long and sensual foreplay. A big part of the fun on any trip is the journey to get there – do yourself a favor and don’t miss out on it. A more attentive form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make any sexual experience more satisfying.
Both partners need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. The man may need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the women will usually need the same to become properly lubricated. Unless you are both just wanting a ‘quickie’, there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time (pun intended) controlling their desires from foreplay.
Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.
There is no such thing as the definitive way to foreplay; it is not about pressing the ‘right buttons’ in any pre-determined order (unless after trying everything out you find that is what you both like). It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.
Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued and that the appropriate music is playing. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner's clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism - stimulating and intensifying the feeling.
During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Many women complain that their partner doesn't kiss long enough and rushes the movement directly to the genital area. Don't be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders) - and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.
Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don't be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.
Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve - and that practice makes perfect!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Hot Wax Foreplay

It sounds kinky and you want to try it; but how do you go about doing it? If you are not careful and cautious you could injure your partner or yourself – so how do you go about it safely?
As with any sexual act you need to talk about it with your partner - communication is the key. Does your partner want to try this? Do you want to be the one being pleasured with the wax or do you want to do the pleasuring? Once those questions are answered, you can proceed to the next step.
What level of intensity?
To figure this out, here is a simple way to gauge where in the spectrum you fall. As with most adventures, start gradually and work up.Find a birthday candle - if you can't find one, a taper candle will work. These types of candles are suggested because they do not create a large amount of wax. Let the candle burn for about a minute or so, until there is a small amount of wax available.Pour the wax into the palm of the hand of the person wanting to be pleasured. If your partner doesn't like the feeling at all, perhaps wax is not for you. If they still want to try it, start at a LOW intensity; do the same thing to the thigh. If they are fans of that location, try a MEDIUM intensity wax approach. If they are totally hot and craving more, you can then try a HIGH intensity wax approach.
LOW
This is a simple way to get the thrill of the heat of the wax as well as the texture. It is also a "neater" approach. Burn a candle to the point where there is a liquid wax in the approximate size of a quarter or more. Taking your index finger, run your finger along the edge collecting the soft wax (this provides the pleasurer with the safety of not being burned). Take your wax-covered finger and dip it into the liquid wax. Then place your finger on the body of the person being pleasured. This method allows for sensual touching to play a large role in the foreplay. This method can also be used on more sensitive parts of the body, such as the nipples and neck.
MEDIUM
There are special candles available at adult stores that burn at a lower temperature than regular candles. This intensity level brings the joy of pouring wax without the high temperatures. To pour, hand-eye coordination, as well as communication, is necessary to make sure that you don't miss and pour anywhere the person feels might be too sensitive.
HIGH
Great care should be taken here – both in the amount of wax used and the body areas subjected to the wax!
High intensity uses the high temperatures of regular candles. A higher end candle with smooth wax is recommended, purely for cleaning-up purposes. Simply pour the wax on to the body of the person being pleasured. To increase the intensity and the reaction, try taking the wax off right away and tracing the path with your tongue or ice. Either is sure to send shivers through your partner. Also, to vary the temperature of poured wax, pour from different heights or blow out the candle before pouring. A close pouring is hotter and more intense.
A FINAL NOTE ON SAFETY!
Although there is no need to shy away from erogenous zones, they should be approached even more carefully and with lower intensities! The inner thigh and small of the back are easily accessible as well as fairly hairless examples of where to start.These are not exclusive approaches. To perfect the fun of hot wax, communicate with your partner and work out their likes and dislikes to create a foolproof system.
If you and your partner want to try this, please remember that very hot wax can really burn and hurt your partner. NEVER pour hot wax into any orifice or onto the face (especially NOT near the eyes). Have fun, but BE CAREFUL!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Better Sex for Women

A good amount of pleasurable sexual act is undeniably one of the most important components which helps to build and maintain a successful and rewarding relationship. In most cases, good sex speaks louder than words when it comes down to love and intimacy between both partners. Both partners are equally responsible for giving the others a total sexual pleasure. It is very easy sometimes for a woman to think it is her man's responsibility to give her sexual pleasure and to make her come. From time to time, certain women would also have the idea that they should not be too wild in bed, as this might give their partner a sense of insecurity! This is a total myth and one which should be addressed immediately if she ever hopes to have a totally satisfying relationship! Women sure can be charming by the way they present themselves and also by the way they dress up. But, men like women who are also great in bed. Men like women who take the initiative and are confident in their sexual act. Men like women who give them complete pleasure and satisfaction at the end of the sexual act and they themselves should feel satisfied with their partners. It is often said that only when women have 7 times the pleasure as men that women can reach an orgasm. This is totally wrong! The truth is, a woman can have no orgasm but that does not mean she is not satisfied with the sexual experience. At the same time, a woman may have multiple orgasms. The ultimate aim for a woman would be to satisfy her partner and herself. A woman should devise new ways to excite her man in the beginning and get him involved completely in the sexual act. She can also gift herself or her man sex videos. This is certainly going to turn both of them on. Sex videos are a great resource to learn the finer and more beautiful nuances of sex. Videos also help you learn different better sex positions so that sex does not become a monotonous act. A better sex tips for women would be to get stimulated in the beginning. Performing sex just for the sake of doing it won't bring in any enthusiasm and pleasure. The most important part is to be you throughout the whole sexual act. Women should be as flexible as possible in the whole sexual experience. Try out different things to excite your partner. Like, tying a handkerchief around his eyes and then slowly running your fingers on his body or, you can write erotic stories and then narrate them to your partner in order to stimulate him and respond to your demands. Communication, both verbal and sexual is another important aspect which help to improve your love life. Tell your partner how comfortable you feel in his arms and thank him for the great sexual experience. Tell him that you would like to take the fantastic journey as much as you can. This is sure going to build a stronger sexual bond between you and your partner. You can also create an environment to excite your partner like lighting candles in the room, keeping the room dark, playing soft love songs which you both enjoy and so on. At the end of the day, it is a matter of communication, both verbal and sexual, that is going to make your relationship works. Be selfless and live for the moment for each other.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Extending Your Orgasms

Step One: On Your Own
Think positively about sex. Most of us, according to the sexologists, resist pleasure rather than welcome pleasure-- so you need to do some 'cognitive restructuring'. In simple terms, this means thinking, “This is great -- let's go with it,” rather than “Oh God, my Mother would freak if she saw me now.”
Do Kegel pelvic floor exercises. For the uninitiated -- and where have you been? -- these involve squeezing, holding, then releasing the same muscle you use to stop the flow of urine. The idea is to strengthen your pubococcygeus muscles, and standard sets involve clenching and releasing 25 to 30 times, three times a day.
Pay attention when you masturbate. If you already know which strokes, speed, pressure and rhythms suit you, well done! Practice makes perfect for the rest of you.

Stage Two: With Your Partner
You lie down while he sits or kneels cross-legged beside or in between your legs and applies some personal lubricant to the whole of your vagina and perineum (the part of your body between your vagina and anus). Next he should lightly brush and stroke your genitals but he's not allowed to stimulate the clitoris and inside the vagina. He does this for at least five minutes.
The stimulation now moves to the clitoris. He should slowly and steadily circle the clitoris with a finger, travelling around it once per second. At the same time, you tell him exactly what pressure and rhythm feels good.
As he continues to stimulate your clitoris, you start doing your pelvic floor squeezes as you breathe deeply from your stomach. Prepare for your orgasm, because now it gets a bit complicated bit for him.
As you feel you're about to climax, he should watch and feel for regular two-second contractions in your genital area; this means you're about to orgasm. Once these contractions start, he needs to stop stimulating the clitoris and immediately move to stroking the inner vaginal walls. Using his fingers, he can either push them in and out, or sweep them in circles in and out of the entrance. If he concentrates on the front vaginal wall (the bit underneath your tummy), stroking with his fore and middle finger is another option. Most crucial of all, whichever technique he chooses, the rhythm should be slow and steady.
After you've had your orgasm, he'll feel the vagina start to pull away - the point when most couples stop. But not this time! In ESO, your first orgasm is only the beginning, remember? Instead, he continues using his fingers inside the vagina, using a light touch initially, then upping the frequency and pressure once you feel ready for more. This should set off another series of contractions.
The minute he feels a pause in the pulsating, he should move quickly back to stroking the clitoris as before. If he continues to steadily circle the clitoris, this should trigger even more contractions - at which point he moves back to stimulating inside the vagina again. He then continues switching back and forth from vaginal to clitoral stimulation until your contractions occur every one to five seconds.
After doing this for 15 minutes, the contractions start to become continuous. When the vagina pushes out in a continual wave-like motion, you're in the final phase. He now gets into a position where he can use both hands -- and keep his balance -- to stimulate the clitoris and the vagina simultaneously. The result: wave after wave of orgasms. …And to think you were going to give up!

Other Ways to Keep It Coming
Find your “hot days.” It's worth noting which days of the month you feel most aroused. Keep a chart. If Day One is the first day of your period, simply mark the days you feel sexy after that with a cross (record those days you can't help but notice). After a few months, you may see a pattern emerging -- or not; some of us don't have one. If you do, it makes sense to try for extended orgasms during those periods.
Drink less. Alcohol numbs and represses your bodily functions, lowering your chances of achieving extended sexual orgasms.
Use lubricant. It allows you to be stimulated for longer without experiencing soreness.
Move those hips. The more you move your pelvis, the longer and more intense the sexual charge. (Try belly dancing for ultimate flexibility!)
Focus on the sensation. Men seem better at staying focused on orgasm, while women tend to “wander off” mentally. Search with your mind for the last, tiniest contraction to fully appreciate the experience.
Switch stimulation. If you've just had a clitoral orgasm, switch to penetration or vaginal stimulation to continue the sensations or try for number two. If you've just climaxed through intercourse, switch to him giving you oral sex. Often, the first orgasm is sharper and quicker, the second could be longer.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Good in Bed

There is a multitude of sex linked social norms. Just as many entail negative connotation, telling what shouldn’t be done. It leads to a paradox, sex is such pleasurable activity, but enshrouded in a string of concerns, sexual prohibitions, sex taboos and so on.
The best way of looking at ourselves is through someone else and not through the mirror.
Perhaps the so-called other is up and close, being a member of our society. Or else, might be from other culture, contemporary to ours, or from other age. We cam compare everything , from feeding customs to sex and sexual practices.
In the nineteenth century Brazil, the catholic church used to strongly interfere in the intimacy of people. Sex should be under control even between couples. In this case, the chastity of feelings should prevail. Being deemed as sinful any given loving manifestation that resulted in plain pleasure.
Eroticism should be kept away from a lover’s bed, since sexual intercourse should only serve procreation purposes. For a simple reason- semen shouldn’t be let astray from its basic sexual purpose. Based on this line of logic, a string of new sex practices got forbidden as deemed sinful- masturbation, anal sex and homosexuality.
Thus, puritan England could be viewed as an example of repressive society towards sex.
At the time, a decent woman’s prime goal was to marry a respectable chap and bear as many offspring as possible. And, of course, any respectable lady worth her tea wouldn’t admit feeling pleasure during sexual intercourse. By the way, sex and sin would be almost the same, in case procreation wasn’t necessary.
Among some oriental cultures clitoris sectioning still much en vogue. Vis-a-vis, neglect to female pleasure is taken to extremes. Lately, there’s been worldwide a lot of flak on female sex mutilation and the feminine frame-work in the Middle-East. Roughly speaking, women should hold up such bashful posture in such cultures. In some cases sexual behavior should be total isolation of public premises. Otherwise, walk on public thoroughfares when necessary should be done with no exposed any sexual related body parts.
The westernized societies gone and being currently going through a process of liberalization of customs. In fact, living in these societies so far described takes a great deal of submission to society by the individual. Individual liberty was undermined even on intimate and private sphere. Cheerfully, nowadays a notion prevails in the general consensus that people should have sex with whoever they feel like, whichever way they please.
In other words, sex is good though. We can reach sexual pleasure with it.
This new manner to perceive sex is truly quite dated for some early cultures. There is in hinterland Brazil an indigenous population called-“ the nhambiquara”. Although extremely poor as far as staple resources go, the nhambiquara lead quite rich sexually and affective live, ruled by a few rules. All knowledge about relations between genders could be unpretentiously sum up in one short phrase- taminge mondage. Or translating: to have sex is good.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Erotic Sex

Which one is right…to have several sexual partners or only one? The Indians Tupis-Caraibas from the Brazilian hinterland agree on that the tribe chief takes up many wives at the same time, so long as they are all sisters. In certain Asian regions, the situation is somewhat reverse; a group of brothers gets to share the same wife. How is it supposed to explain the existence of kinds of relationship so different from ours? For time being, there used to believe that the family model based on the monogamy marriage, would be the final and superior stage of evolution for the humanity.
Consequently, the polygamy- marriage of a man with several women or a woman with several men- should match the remnants of an inferior type of family, which would have been about thousand of years a go. There used to be called “group marriage” or “sexual promiscuity” to namely such hypothetic pre-historic stage. After some time there was found that the family based on monogamy marriage was no privilege of those civilized-ones. It existed and still exists in most varied regions of the world. Although, with a higher frequency rate than in any other form of familial organization.
To pinpoint it on “primitive” societies seems common-place. It happens to be the case of the Nhambiquara, who are nomadic Indians of the Brazilian hinterland. In their midst, the strings that attach husband, wife and sons being extremely similar to those observed in the so-called “civilized” society.
In face of “well-behaved savages” as such, it turn out a lot harder to keep on talking about survival of the pre-historic family. Thus it was bizarre to concede that our conception of family was neither exclusive invention, nor the only way likely to regulate the rapport between the sexes and procreation. The predominance of monogamist marriage gets explained, above all, by a question of demographic equilibrium. The amount of men and women, in any given human population, tends to be approximately the same, unless exceptional conditions come to alter such proportion.
Yet polygamy may spring out in societies whereupon a restrict number of individuals gets to accumulate power and prestige sufficiently to “monopolize” the women as of the younger and most desirable. It’s significant that, in most “primitive” groups, being the polygamy privilege exclusive of chiefs. It’s interesting the example of the Naires, group which inhabits the Malabar Coast, in India. Bygone years, the war was the man’s primarily activity. It did not let them to constitute family. Thus marriage was a ceremony of symbolic meaning, which did not create any permanent bond between a man and a woman. The only unity for stable parenthood was constituted by a woman, her brothers and her sons.
The family and sexual relations have changed a lot in the world. Currently it’s commonplace finding families constituted by several different manners-with absence of both mother and father, sons being raised by next of kin, etc. Also it’s commonly found diverse sexual options. Some people prefer to have several sexual partners. Others would rather get involved with only one person.
What’s right and what’s wrong? There’s no answer to this question. Those “exquisite” familial and sexual relations come to show us how much of the behavioral diversity and demeanors lies within it. The important is the person feeling good about oneself and practice sex that is healthy.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Body and Mind

Can you imagine wanting to make love to your partner, but not being able to? I've seen more than one relationship suffer because of a particularly debilitating kind of dysfunction called vaginismus — the involuntary spasms of vaginal muscles that make intercourse painful, or even impossible. Too many times, women and their partners assume that a lack of desire is all that's wrong. In fact, many women with vaginismus want to have sex with their partners, but find their bodies won't cooperate.
Sex is always a delicate interplay between body and mind. The brain processes a partner's touch or smell and the body responds accordingly. Sometimes, however, the signals get crossed. Your mind may be saying one thing, but the body is doing another. The unconscious dance that drives successful sexual encounters also is at work in vaginismus.
Vaginismus may be a result of long-standing genital pain or dysfunction in the pelvic floor muscles, which triggers the involuntary clenching of vaginal muscles. Vaginismus also can be the result of past trauma, in which intercourse becomes associated with painful memories or a fear of losing control. Some women experience vaginismus throughout their entire lives — precluding any successful intercourse — while others find it emerges even after they have had a satisfying sex life. Whatever the case, the pain and distress it causes women and their partners is real.
The solution to vaginismus lies in its sources: the body and the mind. If there ever were a problem that requires a multidisciplinary approach, vaginismus is it. The body is gently trained to relax with a combination of Kegel exercises, pelvic floor therapy and maybe some biofeedback. In particular, the PC muscles at the opening of the vagina are targeted. A woman learns to control her physical response by herself first, then moves onto contact with her partner when she is comfortable. The key is recognizing the difference between tension and relaxation in the pelvic floor. But body-control is only one half of the equation.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Getting the Fun Back in Sex

Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark.

Be adventurous
Maybe you've never had sex on the kitchen floor or in the garage; now might be the time to try it. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from checking out an X-rated movie at the local video store might make you feel frisky.

Be sensual
Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses. Concentrate on the feel of silk against your skin, the beat of lusty Latin jazz, the perfumed scent of flowers around the room, the soft focus of candlelight, and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit. Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner.

Be playful
Leave love notes in your partner's pocket for him or her to find later. Take a bubble bath together — the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub is a great lead-in to sex. Tickle. Laugh.

Be creative
Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts. For example, if you're used to making love on Saturday night, choose Sunday morning instead. Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you never have before.

Be romantic
Read poetry to each other under a tree on a hillside. Surprise each other with flowers when it isn't a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate.

The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information and a positive outlook, you should be able to maintain a healthy sex life for many years to come.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Exercising Your Sex Muscles

I ran across this awesome excercise regimen that I just had to share with all of you... enjoy. ;>

Exercising your major muscle groups is a must to maximize your health, but be sure you pay attention to some powerful small muscles in the pelvic area, too. Kegel muscles wrap around the vagina and anus in the shape of a figure eight. Working them helps strengthen your pelvic floor, which supports all your pelvic organs, including the bladder, rectum, uterus, and vagina. Kegel exercises not only will improve your general health, giving you better control over your urinary and bowel functions, but also can make sex sensational!
Strong Kegels can heighten your arousal during sex, enhance your orgasms, improve blood circulation to the genitals, and increase vaginal tone and lubrication. How's that for motivation? So be sure to do Kegel exercises regularly as part of your sexual fitness routine.

Here's how to get started on your Kegel regimen:

Start searching: First, make sure you're targeting the right muscles. Since Kegel muscles are the ones used to stop the flow of urine midstream, you can use this technique to find them. (But don't do it too often — unless your bladder is empty, this technique can be harmful.) You can also insert your finger into your vagina and tighten the muscles around it to locate your Kegels. Just make sure you're not using any other muscles to do this, such as the muscles of your abdomen, inner thighs, or buttocks. You can also use a biofeedback pelvic muscle trainer called Myself (by DesChutes Medical) to easily find these muscles.
Empty out: Now that you've found your Kegels, you're almost ready to start flexing. Before you start, make sure you have an empty bladder.
Get comfy: Next, find a comfortable place to sit or lie down to do your exercises.
Work it: It's time to exercise! Start by tightening the Kegel muscles and holding for 10 seconds. Then relax them for 10 seconds.
Keep going: Do a set of five of these 10-second contractions.

This routine actually works your slow muscle fibers — the ones that help you build long-term pelvic strength. It's also important to work your fast muscle fibers, which react to sudden stresses like laughing, coughing, and sneezing.

Here's how:
Squeeze the pelvic muscles for one second
Release them for one second
Do a set of five of these one-second contractions in rapid succession

For a complete Kegel workout, be sure to do both of these exercises. Gradually work your way up to a set of 10 slow exercises, followed by a set of 10 fast exercises, and repeat the routine up to three times a day. You can also squeeze some extra exercises in during intercourse by tightening and releasing your Kegels around your partner's penis — see what it does for arousal!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Oral Stimulation - Guide for Women

I'm sure I'm not the first to tell you that men love oral sex! Maybe it's the thought of you pleasing only him, maybe it's that he gets to watch you do it, or maybe it's the stimulation that only a tongue can give, but whatever it is — he loves it. Many women give up on oral sex because they find it unpleasant or figure they can just have intercourse instead. If you've had problems with oral sex in the past, I encourage you to give it another try. It can be a great way to show your partner you care about pleasing him.

Give It a Chance
To start off, here's a tip for anyone worried about her gag reflex: Focus on breathing through your nose and using your hand to provide stimulation as well as your mouth, so you can control how much of him is going into your mouth and how far back he's going. This technique will reduce the chances of his penis hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag.
If you don't want to swallow, it's perfectly fine to let it go on his stomach or switch to intercourse before he climaxes. This is something you may consider discussing with your partner before you engage in oral stimulation so he can warn you when he is nearing climax.

Warm Up
Begin licking his testicles and the shaft of his penis. Use your hands to help massage him — start at the base of the penis and slide them up and down around the shaft. Try rubbing his testicles, licking them, and cupping them in your mouth.

Get Going
Slide your mouth over the head of his penis. If he has a foreskin, you may want to pull it back first. Suck gently with the traditional up-and-down motion. And make sure you are very careful not to scrape his penis with your teeth.

Explore
Discover the different sensations you can use to arouse him. Suck harder, softer, faster, and slower, until you figure out what he likes. Alternate between sucking, licking, and kissing. Bring other parts of your body in on the action — your breasts, for example.

Blow
Use your breath to tease him. Blow long breaths along the shaft of the penis, or tease him with short, rhythmic breaths over the head.

Pay Attention
Observe his body language (and his erection) so you know if he's enjoying your moves. You can also just ask. I'm sure he'll be happy to give you feedback.

Show Him
Let him know you're enjoying giving him pleasure. Make eye contact with him. Moan a little. The vibration of your voice can create another level of stimulation.
When he is about to climax, continue with a steady motion of whatever stimulation you're giving him at the moment. If you don't want to swallow, try to make a quick but subtle and seamless transition to manual stimulation. Once he climaxes, hold him in your mouth (or hand) for a moment without moving. Men are extremely sensitive right after they orgasm, so give him a moment to relax before gently releasing him.

One thing that all men have in common is that they like to have their genitals touched. If you want him to take the time to warm you up properly, give him what he wants by going for his genitals faster. That's right — the next time you're starting to get it on, unzip his pants and give him a nice kiss!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Oral Stimulation - Guide for Men

A woman loves it when a man pleases her orally. It is often the best way for her to reach orgasm. For some men, this can be intimidating, but with the right technique and attitude, you'll be a pro in no time.

Warm Up
Start by kissing her abdomen and inner thighs and then tease her a bit. Alternate the stimulation between her genitals and other parts of her body to really turn her on.

Get Into It
Take in her scent and taste, and let her know that you're enjoying yourself. Use your tongue and lips to stimulate the labia majora and minora. Begin with long, slow kisses and licking and gradually increase the speed and intensity as her arousal builds. Don't just lick up and down, since concentrating on only one spot can lead to overstimulation.

Explore
Move your tongue in different directions. Experiment with speed and pressure, but try to keep a rhythm or steady pattern of movement since short spurts of erratic stimulation are likely to throw her focus off. And don't just use your tongue and lips — your fingers, teeth, nose, and breath can also be employed as oral pleasers and teasers.
The perineum is another sensitive area. You can stimulate it with either your tongue or your fingers (but don't use the same fingers around her vagina without washing first, because bacteria from the anus can be harmful to the vagina).

Use Your Hand
Manual stimulation can be just as much of an art form as oral stimulation. For women who prefer less direct contact, try moving your fingers in a small figure eight around the clitoris, then try making a larger figure eight over the entire length of her vulva.
You can also hold her labia open while you use your middle finger to stroke up and down. Many women enjoy having the vaginal opening massaged. If your partner prefers direct pressure on her clitoris, you can tap or rub it constantly with one or two of your fingers.

Pay Attention
Stay aware of the telltale signs of her enjoyment, such as moaning and heavy breathing. She may squeeze your hand, grip the sheet, or push her pelvis up toward your face. Other physical signs, such as increased vaginal lubrication and swelling of her vulva, will also clue you in to her pleasure. And if you're still not sure, it's okay to ask if she likes it. Communication is key when it comes to great sex.
If she remains silent or still or, even worse, pulls away from you, that's your hint to slow down and try something different. Ask her what feels good or how and where she prefers to be touched. Let her know that you're interested in her feedback and that your goal is to please her.

Go for the Gold
When she is appropriately aroused, start using your tongue to stimulate her clitoris — the most sensitive part of a woman's anatomy. Some women enjoy direct contact; for others indirect contact is better. This may also vary as arousal intensifies.
While working the clitoris with your mouth, insert one or two fingers into her vagina with a gentle thrusting motion. If you tilt them upward just slightly, you can also massage the G-spot. You'll know you've hit it when you feel a spongy bump about one to two inches inside the vagina toward her navel. Done right, clitoral stimulation is the best way to bring a woman to the edge of orgasm and then take her over the edge.
One significant way in which women and men differ sexually is in their post-climax physiology. For you, there is a refractory period that zaps your energy and can last several hours. For her, there is still excellent potential for arousal after orgasm. Some women can even have multiple orgasms. If you and your partner take the time to understand how sex may be different for you than it is for her, you'll be able to find your rhythm together, and that's what good sex is really about.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Male and Female Sexual Response

I came across this article about the differences between men and women when it comes to Sexual Response and I figured I would share it here for anyone who is as interested as I am in this topic.

Differences in Male and Female Sexual Response


In the decades after William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson introduced the concept of the stages of sexual response in 1966, it was widely assumed that a woman's response closely mimicked that of a man. More recently, however, researchers have focused attention on women's sexual response. Rosemary Basson and her colleagues at the University of British Columbia have found that the patterns of response may vary widely between the sexes.
For example, when it comes to desire, male and female sexual responses diverge. The sex drive of men tends to be goal-oriented, setting its sights on intercourse and orgasm. This drive is propelled by frequent sexual fantasies and thoughts. Although women are equally capable of strong sexual urges, typically desire manifests itself as a more diffuse, sometimes elusive, drive. Women are more likely to become aroused by demonstrations of emotional intimacy — such as acts that reveal caring, commitment, or tenderness — rather than sexual fantasies alone.
This school of thought also contends that women may experience the stages of sexual response in a nonlinear manner. That is, arousal may need to occur before desire appears. In turn, the emotional intimacy that typically occurs between partners following lovemaking ("afterplay") can trigger a woman's desire for sex in the future. Women may also find that arousal and orgasm progress in the form of a series of rolling hills, rather than as a steady buildup to a dramatic peak followed by a steep drop.

Interesting theory for sure... I will be keeping an eye out for more information on this topic. The differences between men and women whether sexual, emotional, etc. has probably been one of the biggest mysteries as long as humans have roamed the earth. I would love to hear other's thoughts on this subject... so please feel free to share.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Phases of Sexual Response

In the heat of sexual excitement, few people want to bother deciphering the dynamics of their sexual response. However, in cooler moments, acquainting yourself with the physiology of sex can offer clues to help you heighten your pleasure and improve your sexual capabilities.

The process that begins with the first glimmer of desire and culminates in the series of pleasurable rhythmic contractions we know as orgasm can be divided into four distinct phases. Each is characterized by a set of anatomic and physiologic changes. The four phases are as follows:

Desire. Also called lust or libido, desire is the wish for sex. A sight, sound, taste, touch, or smell may spark it. Or it may be ignited by a memory or fantasy. Desire occurs before any physical signs of sexual readiness take place in your body. Desire often leads to arousal and orgasm, but this isn't always the case. Arousal can also lead to desire, and desire can linger on its own indefinitely.
Arousal. During arousal, blood floods into the genitals, triggering the man's penis to stiffen and the woman's labia, clitoris, and upper vagina to swell. Moisture begins seeping from the vaginal lining, creating lubrication. The vagina lengthens, the uterus rises, and the inner and outer lips pull apart, exposing the vaginal opening. The man's testicles pull closer to his body, and his scrotum becomes thicker and flatter. In both sexes, breathing and heart rate accelerate, muscles throughout the body tense, the skin flushes, and nipples become erect.
Orgasm. When muscle tension and genital engorgement peak, a series of rhythmic contractions occurs in the sex organs. The contractions force the congested blood out of the tissues and back into circulation. Along with this comes an abrupt release of muscle tension and a pleasurable sensation. In a man, penile contractions expel semen out of the urethra; this is known as ejaculation. Some women also release fluid during orgasm. While this fluid comes out of the urethra, it's not urine. Glands located in the same area as the G-spot may produce the fluid.
Resolution. Following orgasm, heart rate and blood pressure gradually return to their normal levels. In a man, the penis becomes flaccid; in a woman, sex organs gradually return to their unaroused state. After orgasm, it takes some time before an individual can have another orgasm. For a woman, this stage may pass quickly, allowing her to have multiple orgasms in a short span of time if stimulation continues. A man generally needs to wait longer — from several minutes to hours or days, depending on his age — before he is able to ejaculate again.

While it's possible to identify these discrete parts of the sexual response cycle, not every sexual encounter needs to progress through all four phases in an orderly manner. Nor must the process necessarily include orgasm. This much is true for both women and men.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Female Sexual Fantasies

Here are a few sexy fantasy suggestions to get you started. Remember, fantasy comes from relaxing and letting your mind wander!

Sexual Submission

Women often imagine themselves being ravaged and taken control of — it doesn't mean you want it in your real sex life, but it's fun to entertain the idea. Fantasize about someone powerful having his way with you sexually. Maybe there are blindfolds or restraints. Maybe you're taken by surprise!

Voyeuristic Sex

You're being watched while you're having sex, maybe being forced to have sex in front of other people. You might also be the one spying on someone else having sex. Anyone, a stranger or someone you know, can be the subject of this fantasy. You would be ashamed — maybe ruined — if anyone ever found out. But that's exactly what makes it so good!

Knight in Shining Armor

This is the romantic's fantasy. Your perfect man courts you, seduces you, and makes you feel everything you've ever desired. He treats you in all of the ways your partner does not. He pampers you, understands you, and totally worships you. He also makes all of your sexual fantasies come true, without your even asking.

Being a "Bad" Girl

Women who follow all the rules in daily life may dream of letting the bad girl out to play. Maybe you strip for a roomful of men or seduce a man you've just met for casual sex. You're aggressive, and you go after who and what you want with no apologies!

Taking Control

Many women dream of taking charge in their favorite sexual fantasies. You could be a dominatrix leading a man back to your hideout and planning to make him your sex slave. You'll tie him up until he promises to be submissive, and then you'll tell him when, where, and how to touch you.

Sex With an Ex

Do you, like many other women, have an ex who rocked your world sexually or who loved you and left you (giving him a permanent place in the land of unresolved relationships)? Imagine running into him unexpectedly and beginning a passionate affair — because the sex is still that good.

Girl-on-Girl

It's you and the woman of your dreams. Whether Angelina Jolie is your idea of a hot babe or you'd rather make someone up, fantasizing about lesbian sex is especially appealing for women who've never actually experienced it. Imagine what her female body feels like (so different from your partner's) and how you'll stimulate each other.

Group Sex

Everything from an orgy to a threesome falls into this category. Maybe you're watching a group of other people have sex. What about having a threesome with two guys? Two girls? A guy and a girl? You kiss one person but your hands are on another. Anything goes!

Sex on the Beach

You're on vacation, so everything is tropical and lazy. You've met someone intoxicating and you're having sex on the hot sand, the water about to crash onto you. Sex has never been so good! You're in paradise, but you know it has to end.

Kinky Sex

Dreaming of something even more outrageous? This is the fantasy about your deepest desires — the ones you would probably never share with anyone — but that arouse you and provoke you. Maybe they are desires that go against all of your morals, or are even societal taboos. Use your imagination. No one has to know.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Tips to Increase the Excitement

If you're worried that your relationship is becoming stale and predictable, it's time to try something new! Here are some spicy suggestions to help you break out of a relationship rut. Start slowly with one, or go all the way and try them all! Most important is that you and your partner feel comfortable with — and excited by — any additions to your sexual routine.

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  Create a fantasy with your partner. Try combining your secret desires into a fantasy you both can share. Think about what turns you on and what you'd like to have your partner do to you (or you to him). You don't necessarily have to play out the fantasy in real life — it's just a way to get the sexual energy flowing!
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  Make it real. If you want to go further, act out your fantasy — either in or out of the bedroom! For instance, you may want to try pretending you don't know each other in public places — then pick each other up and take each other home (and to wherever that leads!).
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  Play with props. Props can help you get inside an alternate reality while in the bedroom. Try things like furry handcuffs or edible oils, or dress up as someone from a fantasy. Like a man in uniform? Get your partner a suit from the secondhand store and tell him your wildest desires.
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  Seek adventure. Try something adventurous outside the bedroom. The chemical reaction produced by new activities is similar to the feelings you experience at the beginning of a new relationship. Try skydiving, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, gambling — whatever gets your adrenaline rushing.
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  Keep active. Explore a new activity as a couple, especially one that uses your body. You could try dance lessons, tennis lessons, yoga, or massage classes, or take cooking or language classes together — just choose something that engages you and teaches you something new that you can share.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Tips for Anal Sex

Add a little gusto to the rear-entry position. If you weren't yet aware of it, something as simple as moving her leg slightly or angling your penis differently can turn your "bend over" into a roller coaster ride of orgasms.

1. The Tight Grip

If your woman has great balancing capabilities, then you're in for a great treat. Your woman starts off on her hands and knees, like she normally would for the rear-entry position. The catch is that when you place your hands on her waist, your objective is to lift her legs up so that her feet are against your butt (Okay, that's not really your objective, but you know what I mean).
Although this may be difficult at first, the sensations this position provides are enough to keep you going -- or coming, as the case may be. In this position, penetrate her slowly and deeply.

2. The Leg Spread

With her lying on her stomach with her legs straight and closed, straddle on top of her. Your legs should also be stretched out, and somewhat spread. Your arms should be straight and holding you up. Make your way in and keep in mind that this position works best with deep, slow penetration.
And if you feel like getting romantic, bend your elbows and kiss her mouth. She will, however, have to meet you halfway.

3. Deep Penetration

Again, she lies down on her stomach, but this time her legs are spread open and her knees are bent (her feet should be in the air).
Using your hands for support, straddle her slowly at first, but make sure your legs are together. This allows for deep penetration, and whether you thrust slowly or quickly, I can virtually guarantee that both you and she will achieve monumental orgasms.
To add variation to this position, simply angle her thighs in different ways.

4. The Chair Bend Over

Finally, props! Bend your woman over on a chair and have her lean on it with her elbows facing the spine of the chair. Enter her from behind and, with your left hand, lift her left leg and place it on your hip.
Again, if you like deep penetration, then this position will take you far. To avoid injury or pain, place pillows under your and her knees. This will allow both of you to concentrate on the pleasure and not your cracking bones.

5. Stand and Bang

For this position, you should both be on your feet, preferably in front of a mirror. Have her lean against the wall, office desk, etc., with her hands, and make your way behind her and inside her. You can use your hands to hold her waist, lean against the wall, or even play with her clitoris.
The mirror will add more appeal to the position, as she will be able to look at you as you're doing your thing. As well, you get to see the look on her face as she reaches her climax.

6. The Sideway Insert

In this position, your woman should lie on her side (either side), lean on one elbow, and bring her legs forward. Lean on your hands, placing one on either side of her, and stretch your legs out as you place yourself inside.
As well, you can opt to bend your knees and hold one of her legs up in the air (and possibly place it on your shoulder). This position provides more control over your thrusting.
Or, you can always spoon it. Leaving her in the aforementioned position, make your way directly behind her, also leaning on your side, and press your body against hers as you thrust your way in.

Keep It NewYou can opt to try one of these positions every session, or indulge in all six in one sitting. Whatever you decide, remember that the slightest variation can immensely change a position and the sensations it provides.

Kisses,

Jesse~