10 Rules for Lap Dances

The 10 Golden Rules
Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 1: You're allowed to touch him, but he's not allowed to touch you. Not with hands, mouth, tongue or penis. Only his eyes and imagination are allowed to roam.
Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 2: You must maintain eye contact with him throughout the performance.
Keep the lights ON: It's all about showing off your body, not hiding it. It really doesn't matter whether you'd put a supermodel to shame or make the local preacher's wife look good, sexy is all about how you feel. You don't need a great body to strip. All you need is confidence and attitude.
Slather on Stuff... Fake tan (you'll feel more confident with some color), lip gloss (slightly smeared), blusher (around your nipples to make them look more defined), a slight slick of baby oil on your body for sheen.
Plan Your Outfit: I've deliberately made this strip user-friendly in the sense that it assumes you've just come home from work and walked in the front door. Sure, you wouldn't normally wear stockings and garter belts to the office (top score if you do!) but there's not too much else that's different — which means you'll be far more likely to strip on impulse (and therefore actually do it, rather than just talk about it). There's only one thing Amy and I absolutely must insist on outfit-wise: no big underpants à la Bridget Jones! Obviously, a G-string (thong) suits the mood of a striptease best, but it's far more important that you feel sexy in whatever underwear you choose.
Don't Be a Neat Freak: You're supposed to be throwing your clothes off with abandon. Stopping to put your skirt on a hanger, carefully folding your top or hanging your jacket behind the door ruins the effect somewhat (don't laugh — it happens). Everything is left where you throw/drop it.
Think the Three T's: Tempt, Tantalize, Tease: During the entire performance, parade around, walk up and down, flirt, flick your hair around, gyrate your body. Be his private dancer.
Your Hands Are His Hands: Touch yourself the way he wants to touch you, in places he wants to touch. Go for it. You can keep it light and innocent by touching yourself the way a virgin might. Or you can get wickedly down-and-dirty from the word go.
Borrow a Dancer's Trick: Keep one leg in front of the other, heel lifted, whenever possible. It makes otherwise awkward poses look elegant (and your legs and body look long and lean). It's also great for photographs (check out any shot of Liz Hurley and she's invariable assumed this pose)!
Choose the Music to Suit Your Mood: Yes, "Hey, Big Spender" is a tad dated, so just choose something you always end up flinging yourself around the living room to, on your wilder late nights.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Tips on Strip Tease

The Top Titillating Stripping MovesSet the scene for seduction by e-mailing or calling your partner earlier in the day. His instructions: to buy champagne and have it on ice by the time you get home. When you're 10 minutes away from the house, call again and ask him to put on your chosen CD (time it so the right song will be playing when you walk in the door), turn the lights down a little and plunk his bottom on the sofa. Then take a deep breath and prepare to...
Walk the WalkThrow open the front door (well, maybe not too violently in case he's hovering behind it) and carelessly throw your handbag in a corner. If he's not already sitting expectantly on the couch, order him there. Then simply parade about a bit, strutting your stuff. Mentally visualize a figure of eight and make your hips follow. Place one foot directly in front of the other when you walk, and you'll see how easy it is! Chest out. Head up. Think proud and sassy. It's all about attitude! (And OK, you're allowed one rather large gulp of champagne).
Play with Your "Penis"No, I've not gone nuts. Your scarf — the modern girl's equivalent to the feather boa — is your phallic object. Treat it as you would him: sometimes rough, sometimes gentle. Run it seductively through your hands, then over your shoulders and from side to side, arching your back at the same time (stomach in, breasts out). Scarves are great props: Use it as a blindfold, put it around his neck to draw him close, use it later to tie him up (but only if he's been a good boy).
Remove Your JacketAs an Object of Teasing the jacket comes off very, very, v-e-r-r-r-y-y-y slowly. With your back to him, look back over your shoulder. Unbutton the jacket, then shrug your shoulder sexily so it slides down in one motion. Remove one arm at a time but DON'T drop it! This is what separates the professional from the amateur: A real stripper will keep the jacket covering her bra and breasts with both hands and... then turn around to face him. Remove the jacket from your breasts with one hand and drop it to the floor.
Off Goes the SkirtAgain, with your back to him, look over your shoulder. Unzip your skirt as slowly as possible, sticking your butt out and arching your back. The skirt should be off in one quick, smooth motion. Once it's on the floor, step out of it and leave it there. A word of warning to the clumsy (like me): It's easy to get it caught around your ankles, do an ungainly dance, then topple in an undignified, humiliated heap — which is why one gulp of bubbly is good for the courage, but more is a bad idea.
And the High-Heeled ShoesSlip-on mules aren't optional, they're de rigueur. There's not really an elegant way to remove your shoes, but the whole effect is instantly ruined if you're having to stop, lean over and fiddle with straps. (I don't care how gorgeous they are or how thin they make your ankles look, you're NOT allowed to wear them!) Simply lift your leg up behind you, lean down and use your hand to remove the shoe in as "ladylike" a way as possible.
Slide Off Your StockingsPosition yourself side-on, maintaining eye contact, and put one leg up on a chair. Undo the garter belt first (obviously), then roll down the stockings using both hands, one on each side of your leg. Keep it nice and slow — the idea is, your hands are his hands. Keep rolling down until your hands are on your ankle. (Butt high in the air, of course!) Once you've slipped the stocking off your heel, remove it from your foot with finger and thumb, then use it as a prop to drape around his neck, swishing it past his nose so that he can smell the scent of your skin on the stockings.
Ping the Garter BeltThese don't look so hot without stockings attached, so get rid of yours right after the stockings have been removed. Simply unclip and ping them across the room with as much finesse as you can possibly muster! And hopefully without removing one of his eyes.
Braless and BrazenStripping for him is a little like unwrapping a present when the prize inside is you. Every time you peel off a piece of clothing, he's closer to seeing what's hidden inside, so draw this one out as much as possible. Face him, then shrug the straps off nice and slowly. Turn around, look over your shoulder (maintaining eye contact) and undo the bra but hold it over your breasts. Now turn to face him (a suitable wicked expression on your face) and with one arm across your chest, holding the bra in place, use your other hand to pull the bra out from beneath, nice and slowly. Drop the bra but keep one arm still covering your breasts. Then take it away, stroking your fingers across each breast as you go. Now's when you go into full stripper mode: back arched, breasts out. Play with and touch them, lifting them in both hands, kneading the nipples. Make like Demi in Striptease.
Next — the Undies!OK, the idea is to remove your panties porn-star style, instead of yanking them down as if you're going to pee. Whatever you do, don't have your legs together for this one or you really will look like you're about to plant your bottom on the nearest toilet seat. Keep one leg in front of the other with your heel lifted. Got the stance? Get ready for the finale! Put your hands (palms facing legs) completely inside the straps at the side so you're lifting them up and away from your legs. Give him a side-on view, then slide your hands and panties down your body, keeping them lifted away from your body. As your hands move down, your body follows. Once your undies are past your knees, they should fall down to your feet. Now for the final (and hardest) part. If you thought stepping out of your skirt was hard, stepping elegantly out of a teensy-weensy, all-curled-up-like-a-rubber-band thong is a nightmare. The best advice Amy can give: Take it slow and step out one foot at a time.
Take a Victory LapThe temptation is to rush over and hide in his. Don't. Parade around, touching and caressing your body until he can't take it anymore — and needs to take you instead.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Tips for better Kissing

Most unfortunately, there are coxcombs among us who refer to making a move as "going in for the kill." However, leaning in for that first kiss should not be considered some kind of predatory attack, a forceful champing at the bit with excessive salivation. Instead, it should be thought of as an intimate moment shared between two people that can run the gamut from sweet and romantic to hot and heavy. Unfortunately, too many people mistake "hot and heavy" for "wet and messy." These people are the bad kissers among us. Do not hate them, for they know not what they do (usually because no one has the heart or presence of mind to set them straight). Hence, everyone believes they alone have turned lip-locking into an art form. But someone has got to be inspiring the countless tales told round water coolers about the "spin cyclist." Who knows, perhaps it is you, dear reader. Follow the rules below to make certain it is not.
Ladies and gentlemen, do not lick your lips as you go in for the kiss. This is the equivalent of a renowned opera singer hacking up a loogie on stage in order to clear his throat before an aria.
Your mouth is not a jack-in-the-box. Ergo, every time you open it, your tongue should not automatically pop out. Work up to this most precocious of French maneuvers. When in doubt, follow this order of operations during any given kissing session: 1.) Closed mouth, 2.) Opened mouth, no tongue, 3.) Opened mouth, just the hint of tongue, 4.) Full-on tongue probing. Whether that four-step process takes a half hour or 30 seconds to complete, the buildup is infinitely preferable to sticking out one's tongue and saying "Ahhh" as one's patented opening move.
Do not open your mouth so much wider than your partner's that it appears as if you are trying to eat their head. Kissing is not a Mick Jagger impersonation contest.
Tongue-flicking your partner's uvula as if it were a boxing bag must never be attempted by anyone wishing to float high above the depths of vulgarity, not to mention stupidity.
Do not make a beeline for the boobs, the ass or the crotch the instant the lips have locked, especially during a first kiss or during kisses early on in the dating process. It is one thing if you are both living out the elevator scene from Fatal Attraction. It is quite another if you are strolling along the promenade under the moonlit sky, having done nothing but hand-holding up until this point. In most cases, romance should take priority over unadulterated lasciviousness; you will both wish to savor the moment, so focus on the kissing. Do not denigrate it or distract yourselves from its beauty by rushing to the naughty bits. True ladies and gentlemen, for the most part, take their sweet time.
Only the most hopeless of souls employs the sucker punch. Sneaking up on someone (especially someone you have never kissed before) and planting one on them by surprise so they cannot act quickly enough not to kiss you is the epitome of rudeness, to say nothing of desperation. You may, however, grab your date by the hand, push them up against a wall and plant one on them passionately, so long as there is not even the slightest hint of hesitation in their constitution. That three-step process should give you enough time to accurately assess your date's response and abort the kiss if need be.
Likewise, grabbing someone's face is romantic so long as you are not holding their head to keep them from pulling away. Putting someone in a headlock so they cannot escape your kisser is not only rude, it is criminal.
If the kissee pulls away, the ladylike or gentlemanly kisser refrains from getting mad or pouty. Even if you are dying of humiliation or crying on the inside, maintain a cool and calm exterior. You can kill yourself later.
When you come up for air and find your mouth poised on the precipice of their earlobe, proceed with caution and restraint. Many persons despise ear play altogether, on principle, as it reminds them of the wet willies of yesteryear. So go slowly, breathe softly, blow ever so gently, use your tongue sparingly -- it should just delicately graze the outside of the earlobe, not dig for waxen gold like a Q-tip. If your partner pulls away, do not keep revisiting the area in an effort to convert them.
True ladies and gentlemen are diligent about freshening their breath. Brush your teeth (and your tongue) often, carry mints with you at all times and keep a small tube of toothpaste in your nightstand drawer for morning touch-ups so you -- or your partner -- will not have to leave the warm comforts of bed prematurely.
A lady or gentleman never goes in for a kiss (or accepts an incoming one) during an outbreak of oral herpes. A true gentleman or lady with oral herpes (GoLwOH) explains their situation pre-kiss even between outbreaks. 'Tis true, almost a quarter of the kissers in this country suffer from oral herpes (most of them unknowingly), and yes, the chance of spreading oral herpes between outbreaks is very, very low (especially if you take suppressive medicine). But a true GoLwOH would -- and should -- tell. It is only polite to let your date make their own decision about the risk they are willing to incur. That said, many a measured gentleman and lady have been more than understanding when a GoLwOH waited until the second or third kiss to inform them of the condition. It is out of our jurisdiction to endorse lies of omission; however, many modern doctors will tell you it is fair play not to tell between outbreaks. A note of caution: This rule does not apply to genital herpes.
A lady or gentleman never expects a make-out session, or even a good-bye kiss on the lips, at the end of a date. We would do well to remember that kissing is so intimate an act that not even Julia Roberts's hooker character in Pretty Woman would allow her johns to osculate her. The same thing goes for holding hands in public on a first date, especially before the drinking has commenced. Civilized people find it extremely odd and out of fashion that so many young couples on the show Blind Date begin holding hands within the first few minutes of meeting -- even when they are not particularly fond of one another. Barbarians, all of them!

Kisses,

Jesse~

Longer Orgasms

Step One: On Your Own
Think positively about sex. Most of us, according to the sexologists, resist pleasure rather than welcome pleasure-- so you need to do some 'cognitive restructuring'. In simple terms, this means thinking, “This is great -- let's go with it,” rather than “Oh God, my Mother would freak if she saw me now.”
Do Kegel pelvic floor exercises. For the uninitiated -- and where have you been? -- these involve squeezing, holding, then releasing the same muscle you use to stop the flow of urine. The idea is to strengthen your pubococcygeus muscles, and standard sets involve clenching and releasing 25 to 30 times, three times a day.
Pay attention when you masturbate. If you already know which strokes, speed, pressure and rhythms suit you, well done! Practice makes perfect for the rest of you.

Stage Two: With Your Partner
You lie down while he sits or kneels cross-legged beside or in between your legs and applies some personal lubricant to the whole of your vagina and perineum (the part of your body between your vagina and anus). Next he should lightly brush and stroke your genitals but he's not allowed to stimulate the clitoris and inside the vagina. He does this for at least five minutes.
The stimulation now moves to the clitoris. He should slowly and steadily circle the clitoris with a finger, travelling around it once per second. At the same time, you tell him exactly what pressure and rhythm feels good.
As he continues to stimulate your clitoris, you start doing your pelvic floor squeezes as you breathe deeply from your stomach. Prepare for your orgasm, because now it gets a bit complicated bit for him.
As you feel you're about to climax, he should watch and feel for regular two-second contractions in your genital area; this means you're about to orgasm. Once these contractions start, he needs to stop stimulating the clitoris and immediately move to stroking the inner vaginal walls. Using his fingers, he can either push them in and out, or sweep them in circles in and out of the entrance. If he concentrates on the front vaginal wall (the bit underneath your tummy), stroking with his fore and middle finger is another option. Most crucial of all, whichever technique he chooses, the rhythm should be slow and steady.
After you've had your orgasm, he'll feel the vagina start to pull away - the point when most couples stop. But not this time! In ESO, your first orgasm is only the beginning, remember? Instead, he continues using his fingers inside the vagina, using a light touch initially, then upping the frequency and pressure once you feel ready for more. This should set off another series of contractions.
The minute he feels a pause in the pulsating, he should move quickly back to stroking the clitoris as before. If he continues to steadily circle the clitoris, this should trigger even more contractions - at which point he moves back to stimulating inside the vagina again. He then continues switching back and forth from vaginal to clitoral stimulation until your contractions occur every one to five seconds.
After doing this for 15 minutes, the contractions start to become continuous. When the vagina pushes out in a continual wave-like motion, you're in the final phase. He now gets into a position where he can use both hands -- and keep his balance -- to stimulate the clitoris and the vagina simultaneously. The result: wave after wave of orgasms. …And to think you were going to give up!

Other Ways to Keep It Coming
Find your “hot days.” It's worth noting which days of the month you feel most aroused. Keep a chart. If Day One is the first day of your period, simply mark the days you feel sexy after that with a cross (record those days you can't help but notice). After a few months, you may see a pattern emerging -- or not; some of us don't have one. If you do, it makes sense to try for extended orgasms during those periods.
Drink less. Alcohol numbs and represses your bodily functions, lowering your chances of achieving extended sexual orgasms.
Use lubricant. It allows you to be stimulated for longer without experiencing soreness.
Move those hips. The more you move your pelvis, the longer and more intense the sexual charge. (Try belly dancing for ultimate flexibility!)
Focus on the sensation. Men seem better at staying focused on orgasm, while women tend to “wander off” mentally. Search with your mind for the last, tiniest contraction to fully appreciate the experience.
Switch stimulation. If you've just had a clitoral orgasm, switch to penetration or vaginal stimulation to continue the sensations or try for number two. If you've just climaxed through intercourse, switch to him giving you oral sex. Often, the first orgasm is sharper and quicker, the second could be longer.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sexy For Life

If you are over 50 and want the best that life has to offer, you probably desire a passionate, stimulating sex life. If you are under 50, you probably wonder what you have to look forward to sexually once you reach the half-century mark.
The Good NewsResearch clearly shows that sex after 60 can actually be better than ever. Enjoyment can increase as partners continue to share love, life, fun, and intimacy throughout the years.
A recent poll of 6,000 men and women over the age of 60 reported that 37 percent still had sex at least once a week.
A Masters and Johnson study of 250 sexually active couples found that frequency of intercourse declined only slightly between the ages of 60 and 70.
Married men in their 60s claim that they experience deeper sexual satisfaction than when they were 20 and single, while older married women admit that they are sexually happier than when they were younger (provided they have successfully dealt with the physical and emotional changes that accompany menopause).
Studies reveal that 62 percent of healthy men and 30 percent of healthy women between the ages of 80 and 102 still have sexual intercourse! Many older couples describe a satisfying sex life consisting of touching and caressing as forms of sexual expression and love toward one another, even if they don't have intercourse.
The idea of having a full and rewarding sex life (even until we're 100!) is, undoubtedly, appealing. Physicians, clinicians, and sex researchers know it is possible to ensure an active sex life, no matter how many birthdays we've had.
Seven Simple Steps That Can Ensure Continued Sexual Satisfaction
1. Cultivate your very own irresistible aphrodisiacs. A vigorous and well-cared-for body and a lively personality are two of the most powerful aphrodisiacs known to man (and woman). Best of all, you can have them with you at all times if you want them. Imagine — homegrown, ever-ready aphrodisiacs. And they're legal, too!
Staying healthy, fit, and vibrant not only makes us outwardly attractive and alluring to others, but helps us feel sexy, desirable, and confidant as well. That confidence creates "sexual energy," a seductive charisma guaranteed to awaken a partner's sexual interest.
Naturally, the most obvious way to stay healthy and fit is to take care of yourself: don't smoke, use alcohol moderately, control your blood pressure and weight, eat a well-balanced diet, get regular exercise and adequate rest. And remember, regular check-up visits to your physician must be an essential part of your sexual fitness program.
Best of all, couples who work to stay healthy together enjoy the added benefit of building emotional closeness while they share a sport or fitness activity. Taking brisk walks together, for instance, gives couples an opportunity to talk, to share ideas and feelings, and to relax their nervous systems while giving two respiratory systems and happy hearts a healthy workout.
2. Think young, fun, and — yes — sexy. When you watch someone who is enthusiastic, youthful, jovial, and having a good time, do you even notice how old that person is? Probably not. Most likely you just want to get to know that person and be part of the high spirits. And when you keep your attitude and behavior youthful and playful, you'll be the person others are attracted to and want to know.
Often, youthful people who are over 50 feel guilty because they frequently think about sex the way they did when they were 20 years old. Surely, they fear, it must be nonsense for someone with graying hair and mature stature to have the lusty notions and urges of post-adolescence. Don't you believe it! You're supposed to think about sex the same way you did when you were 20; you just might not think about it as often. Nonetheless, your personal approach to sex at 50 and beyond is supposed to be as titillating, erotic, and creative as it was when you were 25. Feel and be sexual without guilt! Loosen up and be inventive! Go ahead and have more fun than you did years ago. (But always be responsible, of course.)
3. Plan on having good sex. As we get older, good sex also requires good timing. Are you a morning person? A night owl? What about your partner? The best time to make love is when you and your partner are the most responsive (as men mature, that time is usually in the morning). So, good sex also requires some planning.
As often as possible, clear everybody out of the house so you and your partner can be as uninhibited as you want to be. Get rid of the kids for a while; send the grandkids home to their parents (for a change!).
Once alone, take time to enjoy yourselves. Men, turn off the TV — absolutely! Turn down the lights. Or turn them all on! Why not light candles? Add music? Share the tub or shower? Play an erotic and seductive board game? Watch a romantic or sexy video?
Give each other relaxing, sensual massages. Have you ever used whipped cream in the bedroom? Peanut butter? You can't imagine the fun you can have with ice cubes! Take off all your clothes. Or put on costumes!
Make love in the kitchen. Or on a blanket in the backyard under your favorite tree at midnight. Then do it (again) at high noon!
Let your imagination and your sense of sexual adventure lead you and your partner into a glorious world of new delights, sensations, and shared joys. When you run out of ideas, there are plenty of books and videos on the market to help you discover new ones. Sex will never be boring again. And neither will your life. All it takes is a little creativity, time, and planning. So — plan on it!
More Simple Steps That Can Ensure Continued Sexual Satisfaction
4. The cardinal rule: Just do it. And do it. And do it! Masters and Johnson, those famous sex researchers, claimed that continuing to have sex was the "cardinal rule for preserving sexual vigor beyond middle age." Post-menopausal women who are sexually active have less shrinkage of the vagina and higher levels of naturally produced sex hormones than do sexually inactive women. Likewise, men who are sexually active as they pass through middle age and beyond maintain higher blood testosterone levels than those who stop having sex. The bottom line? If you keep on doing it, you better ensure your likelihood of being able to keep on doing it. In other words, use it or lose it! It's really that simple.
5. Send sex messages in as many ways as you can. The key to the best relationship is always communication. If you don't talk about your sex life and feelings with each other, how can you get your message across and let your desires be known? Sex therapists know that a good sexual relationship is greatly enhanced and ensured by an open, communicative, caring, and affectionate relationship.
Achieving a closer, more loving relationship with your partner is a crucial component of your sexual fitness program. It's difficult for sexual harmony to co-exist with marital distance and conflict, submerged resentment, basic incompatibility, or lack of positive feelings toward one another.
Such barriers to communication must be addressed because they increasingly inhibit sexual feelings as we grow older and as our basic biological sexual urges diminish. If poor communication is a problem in a relationship, a couple should seek the help of a therapist to develop deeper levels of intimacy, love and understanding, and greater shared physical enjoyment. The reward can be a richer, fuller, more exciting life.
Remember, too, that we also send sexy messages in very simple, ordinary ways: by being relaxed and interested in each other; by not drinking too much alcohol; by paying special attention to body and oral hygiene; and in our willingness to learn new ways to touch and please one another.
6. Expect it to be different, but expect it to be good. There's no question: our bodies, and our bodily responses, change as we age. But those changes shouldn't concern or worry us.
For men over 50, erections will usually be sturdy and reliable, although they might take a little longer to achieve and won't be as hard as those of a 20-year-old. The forcefulness of ejaculation and orgasm may be slightly less than in the past, and more time may be required between repeat performances. The older man, in particular, might require more direct stimulation of his genitals to be ready for sex (unlike during his younger days, when his reaction and response was spontaneous, immediate, and frequent).
As a woman ages, her clitoris is not affected and her capacity for orgasm and sexual interest normally remains unchanged. But thinning of the vaginal walls can contribute to painful or uncomfortable intercourse, as can an inability to adequately lubricate; many of these conditions can be reversed with advice from her physician.
Understanding, accepting, and working with these minor and normal bodily changes can definitely help a couple create and enjoy a satisfying sex life. There are now many resources available to help couples with this process.
7. Get help for specific sex problems. A man's declining interest and ability to make love are often linked to his health, and a visit to a physician is definitely in order whenever a distinct change in lovemaking becomes evident. It is not yet known whether change results because of the physical effects of illness on sexual functioning or whether illness merely alters a man's perception of his vigor.
The perception of loss of vigor is most clearly seen in heart attack survivors. There is a false belief that it is common for people with heart conditions to die during intercourse. Rather, one study showed that only .06 percent of deaths from sudden heart attacks were caused by sexual activity and the vast majority of those cases involved extramarital affairs.
Many heart attack survivors and their partners give up sex despite the fact that there is no medical reason to do so. Some authorities maintain that sexual activity with a familiar partner puts no more demand on the heart than a brief, brisk walk or climbing two flights of stairs.
There are some common medical problems than can contribute to sexual dysfunction in those who are 50 and over: prostate problems, diabetes, depression, hypertension, backache, stress incontinence (mostly in women), and cancer, as well as effects from medicines prescribed for other illnesses. Whatever you do, don't ignore these conditions. And remember, most can be treated without affecting sexual functioning, or you can learn how to modify your sexual behavior so sex can continue despite the problems and obstacles presented by illness.
The most common sex problems that exist today are, in fact, treatable. In men, these include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low sex desire; in women, inability to orgasm, painful intercourse, and low sex desire. Successful treatment for sex problems includes: self-help with the aid of books, videos, tapes, etc.; medical procedures; sex therapy; or a combination of these approaches.
All of us are fortunate to live in a time when we have an abundance of materials and resources available to help us become and remain sexy for the rest of our lives. Best of all, attitudes about sex, partnering, and growing older have drastically changed for the better over the years. Life-long learning is an admirable goal for everyone — and that includes learning how to be and stay sexy.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Position Tips For Faster Orgasm Every Time

After you and your partner have participated in foreplay, however much you want, and when you feel ready for sex, have your man lie on his back, his penis aroused and standing ready for you to straddle him. Don't be in too much of a hurry to get him inside of you. Take advantage of the opportunity to display your body; he will love watching you work. With him on his back and you on your knees, swing one leg over him and balance your weight on your knees. Then lean forward to take some of your weight on your hands. Take his penis in hand and rub your moist vaginal lips and clitoris against it. Tease the head of his penis by sliding it back and forth across your vaginal opening, occasionally inserting just the tip and taking it out again. Finally, slide it in gently and slowly. You may need to use a free hand, or he can use his, to guide his penis into your vagina. Straddling his thighs, you lower yourself onto his penis. Once he is inside of you, sink down on him, remaining upright from the waist up.

In this position, you control the depth of penile penetration and the pace of thrusting. You manipulate the amount of friction and the speed. You have an infinite variety of movements. You can raise your body up and down, bend forward with your breasts touching his chest or slide your breasts back and forth. You can move your pelvis and abdomen sideways and in all directions to give different kinds of erotic pleasure. Lean forward to create friction between his pubic bone and your clitoris. Men may want to arch their backs and raise their pelvises to help create a connection between the clitoris and penis.
Be a Champion at LovemakingTry all variations and see what stimulates you most. You will be very deeply penetrated, and the man's most sensitive area is buried deeply within your moist and warm vagina. Your partner can rest while enjoying exquisite sensations. When you have your orgasm, he can feel the rippling of your vaginal muscles much more intensely than in any other position.
Above all, this position is comfortable for most women, gives us greater freedom of movement and puts us in control of our own orgasm. Some of us may be mentally uncomfortable with what our physiological inhibitions may be telling us is aggressive exhibitionism. Tell your mind to shut up. Be sure to close your eyes, at least part of the time. Don't examine your body, don't worry about how you look and don't try to analyze what he is thinking throughout the whole thing.
By parting the vaginal lips and leaning forward to your partner's chest, you can bring your clitoris directly into contact with the base of the man's penis, and rubbing the exposed shaft of his penis against your clitoris may be all the direct stimulation of the clitoris you need to reach orgasm.
Another option is to have your lover place his thumb on your clitoris and hold it firmly in place while you move up and down, but the position of his hand may feel somewhat awkward for you both. It seems that when men stimulate their partners, they don't do it very well. Maybe he feels awkward, embarrassed or resentful. I believe most simply do not share the same sense of rhythm as their women. And it is also objectionable because you've turned your response back over to him.
For some women, changing from the missionary to the female-superior may be all that is necessary to achieve orgasm easier than you ever thought possible. Learning how to "ride" your man will make you a champion at lovemaking.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Sex while Pregnant

So, sex and the pregnant woman. The first thing to say is that it is perfectly safe for you and your baby. I don't advise swinging from chandeliers as you go into the third trimester, but most things are admissible. It is also a good excuse to experiment with some new positions.There are several positions for pregnant women that are both comfortable and safe. So if you haven't already tried them, go for it.Position one: Woman on TopLower yourself onto your partner, either facing him or facing his feet. Many women find their nipples are incredibly sensitive when they're pregnant, so if you're facing him, make sure he kisses them.Position two: The New Missionary PositionThe classic missionary position obviously doesn't work with a bump, but this one does. You lie on your back, knees drawn back with your feet resting on your partner's chest, or with your legs straight up and resting against your partner (a good hamstring stretch this one). Your partner kneels between your legs to enter you, so there is no weight on your stomach. You might find it more comfortable with a pillow under your bottom.Position three: Side by SideYou and your partner lie side by side, facing each other. You can drape your left over your partner's body. This is not really very practical in the third trimester as the bump gets in the way.Position four: SpooningYou lie on your side, in a curled position. Your partner lies behind you and enters you from behind. Penetration is shallow, so this can be a comfortable position during late pregnancy.Position five: From BehindYou are on all fours on the bed (or wherever), leaning down on pillows with your partner kneeling and entering you from behind. Or, try bending over the bed (supported by pillows) with your partner standing and entering from behind. This is what is medically termed a maximum penetration position, so do tell your partner if it gets painful.Position six: SittingIn this position, you straddle your partner while he is sitting on a sturdy, comfortable chair or on the edge of the bed. You can also sit in an armchair, upright or leaning back slightly, with your legs around your partner, who is kneeling in front of you.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Tips to Increase Excitement

If you're worried that your relationship is becoming stale and predictable, it's time to try something new! Here are some spicy suggestions to help you break out of a relationship rut. Start slowly with one, or go all the way and try them all! Most important is that you and your partner feel comfortable with — and excited by — any additions to your sexual routine.

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  Create a fantasy with your partner. Try combining your secret desires into a fantasy you both can share. Think about what turns you on and what you'd like to have your partner do to you (or you to him). You don't necessarily have to play out the fantasy in real life — it's just a way to get the sexual energy flowing!
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  Make it real. If you want to go further, act out your fantasy — either in or out of the bedroom! For instance, you may want to try pretending you don't know each other in public places — then pick each other up and take each other home (and to wherever that leads!).
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  Play with props. Props can help you get inside an alternate reality while in the bedroom. Try things like furry handcuffs or edible oils, or dress up as someone from a fantasy. Like a man in uniform? Get your partner a suit from the secondhand store and tell him your wildest desires.
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  Seek adventure. Try something adventurous outside the bedroom. The chemical reaction produced by new activities is similar to the feelings you experience at the beginning of a new relationship. Try skydiving, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, gambling — whatever gets your adrenaline rushing.
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  Keep active. Explore a new activity as a couple, especially one that uses your body. You could try dance lessons, tennis lessons, yoga, or massage classes, or take cooking or language classes together — just choose something that engages you and teaches you something new that you can share.

Kisses,

Jesse~

Oral Sex Secrets

There are four main components that combine to create great oral sex. Like dancing, sometimes you put all the steps together in one move and other times you slow down the pace, but more than likely you are constantly varying your moves to the beat and according to how you feel at the moment.
It won't take long to discover that the secret to giving great oral sex is to find your "rhythm," and that rhythm, as in dancing, can and will change with each partner, depending on his specific likes and dislikes. What will ensure your success with every encounter is to remember the four different motions you use whenever performing oral sex. When and how you use them will depend on your rhythm, but the motions themselves are always the same. And FYI, the more manual you do on him the less time the oral is likely to take.
You seal your hand to your mouth in the ring shape. Or, if you want just use your mouth, but it will be more tiring.
Your mouth (with teeth covered) is moving up and down his shaft to increase length of the stimulation area for him.
Your tongue is always moving in a back-and-forth or circular motion across the frenulum area, which is the V-shaped notch at the back of the head of the penis. This allows him to feel the more textured tastebud surface throughout the experience.
Your free hand is stimulating another part of his body, such as the nipples, inner thighs, perineal area or anus, in order to broaden the area of sensual pleasure.
As long as you don't forget these four movements, your oral sex experiences are always going to be pleasurable for both of you. And though I've said this before, I think it bears repeating once again. The joy you derive out of pleasing him is worth its weight in gold ‑- of that there is no doubt. But knowing you alone possess the ability to deliver it is likely to do more to reflect your power as a woman than anything you can even imagine. So don't overlook the pleasure you are capable of giving your lover. For many men, oral sex is one of their most satisfying experiences.
On the subject of swallowing, or allowing him to come in your mouth: your mouth, your choice; but I will say that "well-balanced nice-guy men" have said they like it because it makes them feel one of the most masculine parts of them has been accepted. Should you choose to do so, you can heighten the sensation he feels when ejaculating, either in or not in your mouth, by pulsing your now still hands wrapped around his shaft in time with the ejaculations.
If you put the steps together, it should look like this:
Use your hands to form the Ring and Seal. Remember your hand stays attached at all times to your mouth.
Move your mouth up and down the length of his shaft, while maintaining a comfortable level of suction. You won't have to create much suction as your Ring can create the sensation of suction when you do the upward stroke. At the same time, your sealed hand, the one attached to your mouth, is doing a twisting motion while you are going up and down his shaft.
Keep your tongue in constant motion, across the frenulum, and you can use either the tastebud surface or the smooth underside to create sensation.
Don't forget to mind the stepchildren. Named so by a seminar attendee because "they belong to someone else and they often get ignored," invariably his testicles like to be held, fondled and warmed in your hands or mouth, so move occasionally to lick the scrotum and testicles. Worried about hair? Gently stroke the area beforehand to remove any loose little hairs. Ask him to hold your hand on them in the way he prefers.
Let your free hand roam the rest of his body.
Look him in the eye. Consider asking him to watch you.

Kisses,

Jesse~

The Process of Learning Sex

How many times, after a certain age possibly past the 40’s or 50’s, we find ourselves thinking about things that we did in the past. Such nostalgia means stronger for some than others and all depends basically on the intensity of the past moments remembrance.
In recollecting certain facts, we would perhaps be able to gather the sense that something could be changed, or else follow exactly the same way as if it would be likely to strike once again.
When thinking and recalling our past sexual life, we are bringing comparisons up to the surface of the now and then. Most probably came to the conclusion that had evolved over and became rather experienced, while not so much others. Our life is such an endless apprentice and there are things that only in due time would promote an all round understanding.
With regard to sex, as youngster, teenage still, the perception of sexuality usually means different regarding maturity. Male studs, by the way, are quite hasty and usually view the sexual relation as something that needs doing several times. In short, prime for quantity in detriment of quality in relation.
We could try and explain this fact, from the biological standpoint, as the necessity to copulate, while young, as much as he can and with as many females as possible in the sense of perpetuating the species and leaving inheritance.
Absolutely this explanation in humans would be something at instinctive level and unconscious, nevertheless it’s what occurs in the remaining of the animal kingdom. As time goes by, we earthlings in our majority begin to become more demanding in everything, including the so-called sexual relation. At this point in life, gone past several experiences, some good and others not so much, we begin to impose certain conditions so that sex could turn out at the same time pleasurable and with something else.
When a young adult, whether female or male, has someone elder as in 20 and 45 as a partner apprentice is likely to occur in terms of sexual mechanics a lot faster and maybe with higher effectiveness, once that well seasoned individual will surely teach the younger-one the secrets and intricacies in the art of sex. The usual youngsters’ streak of anxiety that look forward to sexual guidance from field professionals, gets explained by the immaturity likewise people as of sex.
Generally, are couples that report complaint of any given sexual dysfunction, being the most popular pain in sexual intercourse and absence of orgasm from the women’s part. Matters per se got to do with the virtue of inexperience by both partners rather than any real dysfunction as such. Every time that I receive these youngsters, try my best to guide them so that they can enjoy the relation not in a haste and with the maximum in privacy, which seem to me as two essential conditions for the optimal sexual practice.
The rest is a constant apprentice through frank conversations and openness so that enables each one to donate oneself to the very edge of things for the other’s sake. Customarily I say that a day is as good as any to master something new and with sex is no different. It only takes open minded for novelty acknowledgement and be up to forever learning.

Kisses,

Jesse~