I was reading this article about the most common questions amongst men, women, and couples regarding masturbation.
Women often ask: Why is he so into porn?
Some women consider a mate's taste for pornography a form of infidelity or betrayal. That may be true, but most men who view porn by themselves use it to spice up their fantasies during masturbation. One's own fantasies can get old and stale, especially if one masturbates frequently. Porn provides substitute fantasies. To get some idea of how men feel about porn and masturbation, women should consider this: Have you ever felt sexually aroused by Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or some other hunky movie star on the big screen? Have you ever fantasized sex with that person? Has that fantasy threatened or cheapened your relationship, betrayed your spouse or implied some deep dissatisfaction with him? Probably not. It's a mistake for a woman to infer that a man's enjoyment of or need for porn implies any dissatisfaction with her or the quality of the sex in the relationship. Usually, porn is simply fuel for his fantasies during masturbation.
Many men ask: She's so into her vibrator. Will it replace me?
Highly unlikely. See the previous answers. Masturbation rarely replaces partner sex. It's a sign of a robust sexual appetite, something many men think women lack.
Far from feeling threatened by vibrators and other sex toys, men would do well to welcome them into partner sex. True, they can do something you cannot -- provide extra-intense sensations. But so what? Is a carpenter less skilled because he uses power tools? When a woman feels sexually fulfilled, she's happy with her lover, even if he uses a power tool to help get the job done. Sex toys are not competition in bed for men; they are helpful companions. They're fun. And many women deeply appreciate a man who is willing to include vibrators and other toys in partner sex. (Don't forget to use some lubricant.)
A related question that is also often asked: Now that we're in a committed relationship, why does he/she still feel the need to masturbate? Isn't it juvenile? Immature?
Woody Allen described masturbation as sex with someone you truly love. Like partner sex, masturbation involves genital fondling. But masturbation is fundamentally different from partner sex. Solo sex is its own special pleasure and shouldn't really be compared to partner sex. Masturbation is just about everyone's original sexuality. Men were masturbating long before they met their spouses. (Women, too.) It's fun, fulfilling and relaxing. So why stop when you move in together or say "I do"? Some people believe that masturbation should not be necessary for people who are coupled, that each spouse should meet all of the other's sexual needs. But according to sex and relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, this view is naive. Spouses cannot meet each other's needs for the self-pleasuring they have enjoyed all their lives, which is by definition a solo activity. In addition, masturbation comes in handy when you feel an erotic impulse but your spouse isn't there or isn't in the mood, or when you want an orgasm quickly without having to concern yourself with your partner's pleasure.
Masturbation is neither infantile nor immature, and it's definitely not just for singles. It's an inheritance from youth that stays good -- and often gets better -- in adulthood whether you're single or coupled.
I remember asking very similar questions in the past to my partners. I can count myself as lucky I suppose to have had very open lovers in my past. Now, with what I do for a living, my lovers are required to be open minded. Masturbation is a huge part of my life and the people I choose as well as those that choose to be in my life must be ok with this. I have been lucky to have very sexually open friends and lovers.
Kisses,
Jesse~
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